How is anyone supposed to know this etiquette rule that you claim? As far as I know people are free to link to whatever they like subject to the laws of relevant jurisdictions.
For my part I would say that you shouldn't police other people and tell them what to do in public, or if you do it, soften it sightly.
You're not supposed to know it, unless someone tells you - that's what I'm doing.
I completely agree that "don't link to my site" is a ridiculous request - I'm not saying that I approve of it. But it's what they want - and the Asahi project has numerous problems with it anyway, so avoiding drawing attention from HN has some benefits to everyone.
My apologies if it sounded like I was policing - that was not my intent.
Read for context: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33793049
Creator of Asahi Linux didn’t like the way some HN commenters talked about the project and/or some livestreams in that and other threads, and started trying to block incoming links with a HN referer.
For my part I would say that you shouldn't police other people and tell them what to do in public, or if you do it, soften it sightly.