>Since going to church/temple became uncool, so did going to the clubs. We've replaced it with social media.
1) it's not about being "cool". I have no issues with religion, but I am not religious and I see no reason to go to a religious institution to meet people who skew religious. It's that simple.
2) clubs are around without churches but have the same issues: they tend to be aimed at the youth. And we're unfortuantely past the days where having a single adult around a bunch of minors is simply okay and considered completely platonic.
3) You must be in a very high CoL area because the church clubs I saw growing up were nowhere near as fancy as ski and scuba.
I'm an atheist and most of my neighborhood is too, but my neighbor is a large church. They do end up serving more than their base, which includes our neighborhood, because this particular church views themselves as a member of the community. Residents are able to call the church, coordinate events, etc... my point is, churches can be a third place to more than just the religious, but that's a choice.
Every time I make this argument people jump at the "religion" part. It has nothing to do with religion, it has to do with the fact that 1) institutions were bringing people together for a reason other than their 2) main purpose for existing; and you need not do #2 to do #1.
It has nothing to do with religion in the same way that Schools have nothing to do with education.
Like sure, you can make meetups happen at schools and school events can bring general community together (well, not NOW given a whole cacophony of cultural shifts. But 20+ years ago), but for very obvious reason your institution will be stereotyped for having young kids/parents and a focus on learning. Not a place for a single 20/30's adults to casually hang out.
It's the same with church. Outside of a donation drive (which I am fortunate to not require) I can't imagine any reason for me to willingly visit a church in search of friendships.
>and you need not do #2 to do #1.
but they will be skewed by #2. I don't want to be showered in "Praise God" when I simply want to find a friend to chat with a few times a month and talk casually with. I don't want to make people who care a lot about their religion uncomfortable because I do not share the same beliefs.
I'm not looking for philisophical fights about God like some edgelord atheist on Reddit; they have their space and it's not for me. And that's fine.
Church aside, it doesn't address the general issues I have with club participation.
Sure, but if I was to replace "church" with "school" then I wouldn't be getting half of the downvotes I get despite there not being any real difference in how the affinity clubs at a Church/Synagogue vs. PTA (at least back in the 90s) worked. In fact, the Church/Synagogue clubs weren't remotely religious vs. the PTA affinity clubs which required you to be a parent of a kid. Yes, in my town the PTA had clubs. Mens club etc.
The conversation is about the "male loneliness epidemic" so fathers and older men, not just 20/30's adults should be included as well.
>Sure, but if I was to replace "church" with "school" then I wouldn't be getting half of the downvotes I get
my condolences, but ultimately I can only speak for myself. I was raised Catholic so it's not like Ive never set foot in a church. It's just not a scene I want to be around. For me, I'd be just as hesitant if a school hosted as Ski club as if a church did for the reasons I described. Maybe it'd e different if it was my alma mater offering various alumni activities (of course, to advertise donations), but I am very far away from that campus.
>The conversation is about the "male loneliness epidemic" so fathers and older men, not just 20/30's adults should be included as well.
Sure. But I have to admit that I am not yet a father nor older man (at least, if we define "older man" as 40+. I can't speak for them (yet). I only wanted to chime in that I don't reject churches because "they are uncool". I'm not older but I am well past the age of caring about such matters. And I don't think any of my immediate friends would give that reason either.
Actually, I think the best solution is men only gyms. I belong to one and its great. Of course, setting these types of things up takes time and money, but it can be as simple as a rented garage with some equipment.
> Actually, I think the best solution is men only gyms
If that works for you, that is great.
Personally, I strongly dislike segregated clubs, both ideologically and in practice. I want to interact with people of different backgrounds and avoid inadvertently carving myself into an echo chamber, so segregation (in any dimension) feels a step in the wrong direction for me.
the only way to solve that is to attend/join multiple groups or clubs.
the hackerspace that i visit has one kind of demographic, and the kybernetes meetup that i recently attended, quite another, which is yet very different from the people at the irish folk session or the meetup for self employed people, or the digital nomads meetup.
a single group that has a representative distribution of all sections of society does not exist
> a single group that has a representative distribution of all sections of society does not exist
That is a strawman, and you could make the same argument about any combination of clubs you belong to, as long as they don't include the whole planet.
I simply have no interest in a club that explicitly excludes half of the population. A men only club in my mind is just as appealing as a "white people only" club. I.e. not at all.
but i was not even thinking about male only groups when i read your comment. i was only trying to point out that segregation along many dimensions is kind of unavoidable.
gender and racial segregation (and maybe religion) are actually the exceptions here. yet, i have to accept that most of the groups i join are predominately white males. but it's only a problem when others are explicitly excluded and not just missing because they have different interests.
every group is its own echo chamber, and the only way to avoid carving yourself into that echo chamber is to join multiple groups.
You approve of women only clubs though. "They need their safe spaces, right?". Depression and loneliness in men is partially due to the massive hypocrisy in how we treat both sexes.
1) it's not about being "cool". I have no issues with religion, but I am not religious and I see no reason to go to a religious institution to meet people who skew religious. It's that simple.
2) clubs are around without churches but have the same issues: they tend to be aimed at the youth. And we're unfortuantely past the days where having a single adult around a bunch of minors is simply okay and considered completely platonic.
3) You must be in a very high CoL area because the church clubs I saw growing up were nowhere near as fancy as ski and scuba.