I always liked explaining this concept in terms of Christmas.
There are people who value getting the right gifts, tell others verbally what they are interested in, and those people then buy those gifts. There is very little mindreading and magic, but the gifts almost assuredly are useful and loved.
There are people who value the magic of Christmas gifting. Telling others what to buy is nonsense because the point isn't the gifts themselves but the act of gifting. The joy is in seeing who got you a gift and what the gift says of your relationship dynamic.
Neither of these are wrong ways to approach Christmas, but you're kind of a jerk if you think your vision of Christmas is the only way.
There are people who value getting the right gifts, tell others verbally what they are interested in, and those people then buy those gifts. There is very little mindreading and magic, but the gifts almost assuredly are useful and loved.
There are people who value the magic of Christmas gifting. Telling others what to buy is nonsense because the point isn't the gifts themselves but the act of gifting. The joy is in seeing who got you a gift and what the gift says of your relationship dynamic.
Neither of these are wrong ways to approach Christmas, but you're kind of a jerk if you think your vision of Christmas is the only way.