Your translation is off. It's not absurd for bikes to use roads, it's absurd to get in the way of and mix with car traffic as though they were a car.
> So, how do I get to where I need to go?
Take bike paths, sidewalks, backroads etc. Or lobby your city for better bike infrastructure. Or accept the risk of the increased likelihood that you will end up a statistic.
> Several states grant some right for cyclists to travel in lanes with cars, but in practice that's absurd.
Which I'll translate for you, from you:
> ~It's absurd for cyclists to use the roads
So, how do I get to where I need to go?