I'm deeply sorry to hear about your tragic situation. School is shit, and being a teenager is fucked up for the people who get bullied as well as the bullies. High school is quite an emotionally unhealthy place (at least in the US).
When I was 6, my father was in a car accident (head-on collision) which resulted in a TBI to his temporal & frontal lobe. He was 46 at the time. He's 70 now and he struggles every day.
My brother was in a car accident with a train when he was 24. He also suffers from a TBI, but his recovery has been incredibly remarkable. He's 33 now & 99/100 times after a conversation with him, you wouldn't have a clue that he suffered from a TBI.
What's the point of me telling you this? Brain-plasticity is very real and based on the small sample size I have personal experience with, it's a function of age.
One big caveat I'll mention: my brother isn't particularly academic and hasn't been in the classroom since his accident, and I'm not sure how he'd fare under the pressure of coursework. But that's not an apples-to-apples comparison anyways.
I feel as though you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. As a self-motivated individual, I empathize with you. But, there's actually some adverse effects from that pressure & stress: it negatively impacts your decision making (https://news.mit.edu/2017/stress-can-lead-risky-decisions-11...).
What's interesting is that over time, this appears to have an exponential impact on cognitive function:
What's my point? Take some time to de-stress: the stress and pressure you're putting on yourself is actually making you more stressed and increasing the pressure.
You're young. You're bright. You have an incredible future which you will determine (in due time). Your brain will adjust. Focus on learning how to learn again & seek ways to improve cognition rather than worrying about work (if you have the privilege to do so, whether via family means or societal/governmental). Don't get lazy, but don't crush yourself because you're not who you were before this bullshit happened to you. Work will always be there. Focus on the pillars of your health (physical, cognitive, emotional).
Would love to connect with you and hear more about your journey if you'd like (I'm a software engineer & happy to share anything I can about my experience working in the industry).
I'm deeply sorry to hear about your tragic situation. School is shit, and being a teenager is fucked up for the people who get bullied as well as the bullies. High school is quite an emotionally unhealthy place (at least in the US).
When I was 6, my father was in a car accident (head-on collision) which resulted in a TBI to his temporal & frontal lobe. He was 46 at the time. He's 70 now and he struggles every day.
My brother was in a car accident with a train when he was 24. He also suffers from a TBI, but his recovery has been incredibly remarkable. He's 33 now & 99/100 times after a conversation with him, you wouldn't have a clue that he suffered from a TBI.
What's the point of me telling you this? Brain-plasticity is very real and based on the small sample size I have personal experience with, it's a function of age.
One big caveat I'll mention: my brother isn't particularly academic and hasn't been in the classroom since his accident, and I'm not sure how he'd fare under the pressure of coursework. But that's not an apples-to-apples comparison anyways.
I feel as though you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. As a self-motivated individual, I empathize with you. But, there's actually some adverse effects from that pressure & stress: it negatively impacts your decision making (https://news.mit.edu/2017/stress-can-lead-risky-decisions-11...).
What's interesting is that over time, this appears to have an exponential impact on cognitive function:
"While stress can shrink the prefrontal cortex, it can increase the size of the amygdala, which can make the brain more receptive to stress" (https://www.tuw.edu/health/how-stress-affects-the-brain/)
What's my point? Take some time to de-stress: the stress and pressure you're putting on yourself is actually making you more stressed and increasing the pressure.
You're young. You're bright. You have an incredible future which you will determine (in due time). Your brain will adjust. Focus on learning how to learn again & seek ways to improve cognition rather than worrying about work (if you have the privilege to do so, whether via family means or societal/governmental). Don't get lazy, but don't crush yourself because you're not who you were before this bullshit happened to you. Work will always be there. Focus on the pillars of your health (physical, cognitive, emotional).
Would love to connect with you and hear more about your journey if you'd like (I'm a software engineer & happy to share anything I can about my experience working in the industry).