Have you tried allowing ext4 to ignore all safety? data=writeback, barrier=0, bump up dirty_ratio, tune ^has_journal, maybe disable flushes with https://github.com/stewartsmith/libeatmydata
overlayfs has a volatile mount option that has that effect. So stacking a volatile overlayfs with the upper and lower on the same ext4 could provide that behavior even for applications that can't be intercepted with LD_PRELOAD