Cold ranch dressing from the fridge was the solution to the boiling lava hot pizza roll problem apart from biting the corners to let the steam out.
Most microwaves have "sensor" modes these days though and you don't need to suffer that experience anymore if you're willing to wait a couple more minutes.
There's a pizza mode. It works. I dunno it's basically magic. Also sensor modes on microwaves tend to work better when the food isn't frozen.
To quickly defrost I will usually stick a bag of pizza rolls in some hot water in the kitchen sink for a minute and if I want them crispy I will finish them in a toaster oven or air fryer.
Anyway my point was just that as an adult capable of basic food prep it seems silly I ever burned my mouth on pizza rolls even though the microwaves were dumber back then.
Most microwaves have "sensor" modes these days though and you don't need to suffer that experience anymore if you're willing to wait a couple more minutes.