Ask HN: work/sleep/continued productivity tips for new hacker dad

[stevejalim]

My wife and I are expecting a baby in a few weeks (our first, so it'll be a whole new world) and, while I'm planning on - and looking forward to - taking a couple of weeks out when s/he's born, I'm looking ahead to ways to remain as productive as possible after that, given the broken nights/early rises etc.

Some extra info: I am keen to share as much of the baby care as I can. I'm a contracting developer, plus am chipping away at on-the-side startup. I want to keep my current earning levels as they are. I usually work from home, in a dedicated office, but go on-site to clients once a week. I do drink coffee :o) I run, and will try to keep that up once a week at least.

What have other hacker dads/mums done to get through this initial phase? All tips very welcome.

Cheers! Steve

[ianpri]

Similar to you, I'm a contracting dev working mostly from home, father to a 10 week old, here's some tips I found useful:

- getting into a routine is as important for the parents as the child, so after a few weeks try and get some sort of rota for the chores etc, and when the baby feeds. If your wife's breast feeding get her to express from 2 months onwards and you can then get 'shifts' where she does breast feeding during the nights and you take the early morning ones feeding via expressed bottle. You can plan extended coding sessions between these feeds without feeling guilty

- look into making batches of food you can freeze and heat up - stuff lie, pies, lasagne etc and load them up with veggies, you can then just zap them in microwave as you'll probably not have time for anything else, I made up a months worth of food.

- be prepared for lots of visitors and make sure they're aware that when your in your office your not to be disturbed, I kept coming out to say hello and it's easy to lose a few hours a day that way

- look into the baby Einstein DVDs - they're like baby crack and give you both 30 mins to jump in the shower/grab something to eat

- swap the runs for walking the baby, I take mine for 3-4 mile walks after the morning and leave the wife to catch up on sleep.

[stevejalim → ianpri]

Thanks for the tips. It's reassuring to read that most of them are already on the cards/in hand, but I think I'll try to swap some running for longer walks with the baby. There's great walking where we live, so it'll fit perfectly. Cheers!

[japhyr]

Our baby just turned 10 months old, and it has been more amazing than I could ever have imagined. Something as simple as watching him learn to walk makes me marvel at how we all learned to use these awkward bodies.

The clearest effect for me, work-wise, is the fragmentation of time. I am a teacher during the day and a hacker on the side. I have always put in a couple extra hours a day at school, getting in half an hour early and leaving an hour after my official end of the day. Now I have to go in when school starts and leave when school ends, to share the baby load. My time at home is incredibly fragmented and busy, but also incredibly satisfying.

One unexpected plus is that I am more motivated to work efficiently than I ever have been in my life. I do a much better job of prioritizing my work energy than I ever have, because procrastinating, or focusing on too much low-hanging fruit instead of the schlep that needs to get done, means I would never finish anything.

My schedule has shifted a bit, and I keep adapting to the baby's changing schedule. For example, he wakes me up around 3:30-4:00 in the morning several days a week, needing about 10-60 minutes of soothing. Instead of going back to sleep, I try to stay up and get a couple really focused hours in. It's pretty awesome to get to spend some quiet middle-of-the-night time with your new baby, thinking about what your parents must have done for you, and then get some really focused work time in.

In short, be there for mom and baby, sleep when you can, work when you can, and focus on the most important things in each of those areas.

(By the way, you also get to make fun things like this happen: http://www.flickr.com/photos/erinlandrews/5773878417/)

[famoreira]

Hi Steve,

Similar to you I'm expecting a baby anytime now and will be looking forward for any tips you may get.

Congratulations and good luck putting these tips into practice!

[Killah911]

Congrats Steve! Having been there myself, all I can say is hold on tight, it'll be an interesting time to say the least.

While every situation is unique, I'd say expect to be playing the supporting role for mom and baby. Getting used to certain paradigm shifts are also very interesting. For example, once the baby's here, you're Dad first and Steve second.

Expect the on-the-side startup to suffer, at least for the first 4 months. Babies are particularly fragile at till about 4 months old. Even a minor cold can turn into something very serious. So, it's a good think that you work from home. That'll at least spare you from passing out in the middle of the day in a company meeting while the speaker is directly addressing you.

I can't emphasize the supporting role enough. If mom can breastfeed the baby, encourage her to do so long as she can (within reason of course, anywhere from 6mo~8mo should be good). Breastfed babies are generally less susceptible to disease, have better brain development and a whole lot more. There's a huge push from formula companies to get the baby on formula ASAP, resist this if you're able to (it's a lot easier on the wallet too). However, this process takes quite a toll on mom. So, expect to dedicate some energy dealing with all the hormonal changes. Keep an eye out for postpartum depression (for both of you, it can affect dads too).

Warnings and worries aside. You're probably going to be in for the time of your life. Enjoy the baby. Watching them grow is by far one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I can say for sure that I've learned and grown a in that time as well. I look forward to coming home every day. It's given me a whole new outlook on my extended family, community etc. It's been a big motivator and creativity booster as well.

Again, congratulations and best wishes.

[stevejalim → Killah911]

Hi - thanks for the sound advice, too. Am really looking forward to everything that'll be kicking off in the next few weeks :o)