Throwaway account due to sensitive personal stories.
Me and my 4 close friends are reasonably successful in terms of societal standards; we all hit the gym religiously, earn over 100K in a big European city, speak multiple languages and we are all in our early to mid 30s. Dating wise, we each have our funnel of dates from dating apps, nights out where we collect numbers and one night stands. We regularly get around 20 new leeds (numbers) a week, which transform into 5 dates and in turn, 2 or 3 new one night stands. On average, every week adds one more friend with benefits to our "rooster".
I place on the bottom of my friends ranking because I am very pick and prefer to date no more than 5 girls (ages 20 to 25 tops) at the same time. The friend that's most dedicated keeps a harem of 20-25 friends with benefits... He tends to service them every other week or so, sometimes double or even triple booking them on the same day. As you can imagine, this takes the same effort as a second job, keeping up with all the new dates and maintaining casual relationships.
As you can imagine, my friend is in top 0.1% of guys in terms of dating success, with over 100 new sexual partners every year. I've asked girls their opinion of him and they all report that he's the kind of guy who just gets it, he's a gentleman, funny, charismatic, considerate and sexy. They seem oblivious to the fact that his skills are acquired from experience and not from mother nature. All of these girls don't mind that he's seeing other girls, they are in it for the same reason: casual fun.
All in all, we 5 men are dating around 50 girls and some are exclusive on their end, knowing the details of our lifestyle. As everything in society gets more and more polarized there's more lonely men and consequently more Dan Bulzarians running around. I find the statistics even a bit tame, the average guy is so afraid of rejection that he does 5 approaches a year. My friends do 5 approaches in an hour going to a bar.
Young girls live in a different reality than young guys. My advice is to not bother with dating until you reach certain status in life, earn good money, have good physique, have friends in high places and most importantly, provide fun. On the flip side, once you'll be at the top of the mountain you'll never want to find a good wife and settle down, mostly because a) there are almost no good girls in westernized society, b) why have 1 when you can have 10?
> My advice is to not bother with dating until you reach certain status in life, earn good money, have good physique, have friends in high places and most importantly, provide fun.
Horrible advice.
Only the last one is really important, and even then, fun looks different to everybody—one person’s idea of boring is another persons idea of fun (board games, for example).
Yes, status is important to humans (although again, it comes in many form, lots of people couldn’t care less about jacked physiques and hefty paychecks). But people are making meaningful connections from an early age and without much of a career underway.
> a) there are almost no good girls in westernized society
That’s like, uhm, misogynist! And funny, because you still seem to spend an awful lot of time and energy on these no good Western girls :)
> My advice is to not bother with dating until you reach certain status in life, earn good money, have good physique, have friends in high places and most importantly, provide fun.
When it comes to marriage, you need to realize that a wedding is not a capstone, but a corner stone. You don't crown your life with a wife, you build up one with a partner.
I assume you and your friends are also just naturally good looking too. (Taller than average, good face, preferred race, etc.) For places like the bar, online, and other cold approach avenues - looks are paramount to your success.
If someone thinks you’re physically unattractive - you’re not going to seduce them in such a short fashion. It takes a long time to build a rapport where most women will sleep with you if she doesn’t find you physically attractive.
Clothes and whatever obviously help but turd polishing doesn’t go as far as people often believe.
> there are almost no good girls in westernized society
Here we go again..
The online catalog of a dating app isn't reflective of the majority of the female population of the collective West. This sort of talk always sounds like incelism, even if you purport not to be one.
There's plenty of good women out there, the majority in fact. (some) men today are quick to point out women becoming more demanding or lower quality, but fail to see the same thing in the modern man.
Modern men seem to suffer a crisis of confidence, adolescent hobbies (I'm very sorry, but most women don't find video games attractive, you can think the same about TV shows, but it's the way it is), sedentary lifestyle, while also fostering high expectations from porn and sex-focused media.
The article briefly mentions porn as an issue. I think porn is a much bigger issue than we're letting on. The men who are now in their 20's are the first generation of men to grow up with virtually unlimited access to porn. What are the results? We can empirically conclude they're struggling to form relationships with women. That's correlation, non causation, but others have been researching this issue and their preliminary findings are pointing to porn being a much bigger problem than we'd believed.
That's a fair point, but I'd add that it's sex in media as well as porn. Media is more sexualised than ever before:- TV shows feature more sex and more of it is clearly visible, sex is used to sell basically anything, some dating apps/website have commodified sex (Tinder) and social media adds pressure for younger people.
I remember reading, maybe it's been 20-30 years ago now, that there was a lot more sex portrayed in media than sex people were actually having. To your point, today's young men have grown up with that too - thinking people are casually hooking up and having sex all the time when in reality they're not. Add in porn portraying women as nymphs who are eager to lose their clothes with little to no provocation and it would appear these young men have a very skewed idea of how sex and relationships work in the real world. Maybe they're figuring it out as they get older and that's part of the reason why today's young women are dating older men?
This is the most immature and narcissistic comment I've read in a long time. I think you absolutely don't get what a relationship is about. Having a best friend as partner who is always around. Having kids that give a whole new meaning to live. Just mating with the next best babe will give you no long term satisfaction. What you describe here sounds more like an addiction.
Fewer people are marrying, at later and later ages, and divorce rates are still very high. Every rich country, it seems, is below replacement rate when it comes to having kids.
Me and my 4 close friends are reasonably successful in terms of societal standards; we all hit the gym religiously, earn over 100K in a big European city, speak multiple languages and we are all in our early to mid 30s. Dating wise, we each have our funnel of dates from dating apps, nights out where we collect numbers and one night stands. We regularly get around 20 new leeds (numbers) a week, which transform into 5 dates and in turn, 2 or 3 new one night stands. On average, every week adds one more friend with benefits to our "rooster". I place on the bottom of my friends ranking because I am very pick and prefer to date no more than 5 girls (ages 20 to 25 tops) at the same time. The friend that's most dedicated keeps a harem of 20-25 friends with benefits... He tends to service them every other week or so, sometimes double or even triple booking them on the same day. As you can imagine, this takes the same effort as a second job, keeping up with all the new dates and maintaining casual relationships. As you can imagine, my friend is in top 0.1% of guys in terms of dating success, with over 100 new sexual partners every year. I've asked girls their opinion of him and they all report that he's the kind of guy who just gets it, he's a gentleman, funny, charismatic, considerate and sexy. They seem oblivious to the fact that his skills are acquired from experience and not from mother nature. All of these girls don't mind that he's seeing other girls, they are in it for the same reason: casual fun.
All in all, we 5 men are dating around 50 girls and some are exclusive on their end, knowing the details of our lifestyle. As everything in society gets more and more polarized there's more lonely men and consequently more Dan Bulzarians running around. I find the statistics even a bit tame, the average guy is so afraid of rejection that he does 5 approaches a year. My friends do 5 approaches in an hour going to a bar.
Young girls live in a different reality than young guys. My advice is to not bother with dating until you reach certain status in life, earn good money, have good physique, have friends in high places and most importantly, provide fun. On the flip side, once you'll be at the top of the mountain you'll never want to find a good wife and settle down, mostly because a) there are almost no good girls in westernized society, b) why have 1 when you can have 10?