I don't disagree with you fundamentally, but maybe one way to reframe this is around the type of conversation we're looking to prompt when we point stories. The conversation you're describing (and to be fair that I mostly have experienced as well) is a one-way, "you owe us this, how long will it take?" conversation. The conversation I'm always hoping to have, and that I've seen happen before, is a bi-directional one in which tradeoffs are discussed, priorities are constantly shifting, thoughtful investments are planned, and engineering concerns are a first-class citizen. All of this can happen if you simply consider your estimates "time" as well, but I find that conceptualizing it as "engineering complexity" helps encourage an engineering mindset among the non-developers on a team.
