On: Sperm counts worldwide are plummeting faster than we thought

[themagician]

Switch to PS5 + Mountain Dew. 30 minutes before sex, microwave a cookie in tupperware and drink a beer. For added protection, download the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV. With an expanded free trial which you can play through the entirety of A Realm Reborn and the award winning Heavensward expansion up to level 60 for free with no restrictions on playtime.

[ChuckNorris89 → themagician]

Can't get a PS5. Does a Nintendo switch also do the job?

[themagician → ChuckNorris89]

Unfortunately, the Switch is only about 90% effective in preventing unwanted pregnancy. PS5 is 98%.

[ghostbrainalpha → themagician]

I found the Switch to be highly effective as preventing pregnancy if you keep it in handheld mode and bring it to bed with you.

When partner attempts romantic activity, tell them you need 5 more minutes of Pokémon and the problem is solved completely.

[themagician → ghostbrainalpha]

Ah, the famous "pull out" method. Pull out the Switch right as you get into bed.