I am a relentless optimiser and someone whose mind immediately always goes to how a situation can be improved or how I can achieve more.
I became happy when I realised none of that shit has remotely anything to do with happiness, which is a state of mind and to some extent a choice.
I’m still a relentless optimiser and just as driven (maybe more so). But when it comes to happiness, rather than allow myself to believe I’ll be unhappy until I achieve X or solve problem Y, I now optimise for finding the path and the narrative[1] I can tell myself that will make me happy with things as they are.
The bonus is it’s easier to do more and optimise the crap out of anything when you’re happy doing it.
Good luck! I sincerely hope you get past this, whatever the solution.
P.S. similar to how others have commented, I’ve also found focusing on others to be incredibly helping in framing that narrative and thinking about my life
[1] to me this has been super key— it is all about framing, and the stories I repeatedly tell myself about my situation and the world around me.
I became happy when I realised none of that shit has remotely anything to do with happiness, which is a state of mind and to some extent a choice.
I’m still a relentless optimiser and just as driven (maybe more so). But when it comes to happiness, rather than allow myself to believe I’ll be unhappy until I achieve X or solve problem Y, I now optimise for finding the path and the narrative[1] I can tell myself that will make me happy with things as they are.
The bonus is it’s easier to do more and optimise the crap out of anything when you’re happy doing it.
Good luck! I sincerely hope you get past this, whatever the solution.
P.S. similar to how others have commented, I’ve also found focusing on others to be incredibly helping in framing that narrative and thinking about my life
[1] to me this has been super key— it is all about framing, and the stories I repeatedly tell myself about my situation and the world around me.