> The best strategy for men is to spam matches and messages as much as possible and hope you grab someone's attention.
That’s a naive idea that makes it worse for everybody, including yourself.
If you’re genuinely looking for attention from anyone that’ll give it to you, you probably want to do some self-reflection.
More likely, I hope, you actually do know something about yourself and your tastes and can recognize that you’ll only be a good fit with a tiny fraction of the people on there.
If you’re not seeing that tiny fraction on the app or not matching with them, you either need to be patient, figure out ways to improve your profile, or figure out a different way to meet people.
Spamming indiscriminately may get you the a few extra internet points, but it doesn’t get you any good matches that you wouldn’t have gotten from being a genuine human person on there.
And it’s just makes an already crappy environment even worse.
In the book Dataclysm by Christian Rudder, he performs an analysis of OkCupid messages and responses. Number of responses received after an initial message was used as the success metric (because that's really the only thing they can accurately measure, no reliable way to quantify the quality or satisfaction from a conversation). Unsurprisingly, the men who sent the most messages performed better than average. More surprisingly, men who copied-and-pasted the same messages over and over again to different women did even better.
I don't know if this applies exactly to apps like Tinder and Bumble who use a hidden elo system, but it seems like sending as many messages as possible is (intuitively) a winning strategy. More messages = more opportunities.
EDIT: Sorry this is like the fifth time I've edited this. I think the conclusion from the OkCupid data is that writing thoughtful openers quickly hits diminishing returns. Thoughtful discussion won't ever be a bad thing, though.
Choosing a metric because it’s the only one you have doesn’t make it a good one.
The only person who cares how many responses you get from random people is a data scientist.
Presumably, you’re there to connect with people you’d have a good time with. You want to optimize for suitability, which has nothing to do with that metric.
(And besides, all of the apps now penalize indiscriminate swiping and other spammy behaviors that are cheap to track)
Both can be true. Is spamming the best strategy for Tinder? Yes. Spamming may be penalized but using the app discerningly (for men) is penalized more harshly.
Is using Tinder a waste of time? Yes, unless your value to the opposite sex can be encapsulated in one photograph (i.e. you spend a lot of time in the gym). There are easier ways to get laid.
> Presumably, you’re there to connect with people you’d have a good time with
It’s a casual sex app. Real dating apps have profiles.
I have comment before when his name comes up, I would take books or articles by Christian Rudder with a grain of salt. What he writes is probably generally true. But for the somewhat well known race and dating Ok Cupid article he didn't normalize the data. Didn't hold things like education constant.
What is presented in articles and books is probably a little more complicated than the conclusions that the readers is given.
The problem is, with so little information to go on I do actually think spamming quite a few women is probably the best policy, even if it has costs for the platform. Until you speak to someone a little you have not idea, so best to at least see unless you are getting so much attention it’s a burden.
I do think commercial dating apps need competition from something which isn’t having to optimise for revenue
>If you’re genuinely looking for attention from anyone that’ll give it to you, you probably want to do some self-reflection.
Not true. The larger you can make the pool the more fish swim in it. And mor sharks. But you get to pick the fish.
>Spamming indiscriminately may get you the a few extra internet points, but it doesn’t get you any good matches that you wouldn’t have gotten from being a genuine human person on there.
You don't really get to know a person from it's profile. Until you get to chat and meet in person there is still a % that you might like that person. Optimizing for outcomes brings the success here.
That’s a naive idea that makes it worse for everybody, including yourself.
If you’re genuinely looking for attention from anyone that’ll give it to you, you probably want to do some self-reflection.
More likely, I hope, you actually do know something about yourself and your tastes and can recognize that you’ll only be a good fit with a tiny fraction of the people on there.
If you’re not seeing that tiny fraction on the app or not matching with them, you either need to be patient, figure out ways to improve your profile, or figure out a different way to meet people.
Spamming indiscriminately may get you the a few extra internet points, but it doesn’t get you any good matches that you wouldn’t have gotten from being a genuine human person on there.
And it’s just makes an already crappy environment even worse.