That's a better pun, but it still sounds like Java.
One team I worked with had >20 people and was building not that complex webapp. >70% of the team were Java programmers and they were always behind the schedule. At some point one of JS guys decided to write Java to help them catch up.
Getting Kif thrown into the next wave of attack is so Zapp.
Really? I've worked most of my professional life with Java and that's never been the case. Teams were always fairly small, 3 to 5 people. The 20-people (!!!) team you mentioned in your anecdote sounds like it would have failed with any technology.
A better characterization of Java is: reliable, battle-tested, bureaucratic, needlessly verbose, and used for many enterprisey (aka boring) projects. That doesn't match Zapp's personality: he's brash, self-promoting, ignorant, deluded about his own importance and accomplishments, and cruel to subordinates -- who do the actual work.
So Salesforce is a far better match. Failing that, an Engineer Manager job would also suit Zapp.
Hermes is a better match for Java, at least for bureaucracy and suitability for mind-boggingly boring tasks.
Oh, but that team did not fail. They eventually succeeded through the great effort just like good Zapp's troops, they were.
I think there's a very good reason that small startups rarely use Java but Enterprises with limitless resources to tackle simplest problems just love it.
I wrote some small commercial stuff in Java and it was anything but small. But I'm not Java programmer and I never will be if I can help it.
That's a better pun, but it still sounds like Java.
One team I worked with had >20 people and was building not that complex webapp. >70% of the team were Java programmers and they were always behind the schedule. At some point one of JS guys decided to write Java to help them catch up.
Getting Kif thrown into the next wave of attack is so Zapp.
> Zapp wouldn't be able to program in Java
He is Java.