My parents were quite distant and unavailable growing up, too busy leading their own lives to be a big part of mine. I didn't have many friends either, so I was pretty depressed as a teen. My dad was really hard on me about "my attitude". Yeah, I was kind of a snot, but I wasn't out drinking or getting high, or being brought home by the cops or anything. I mostly just wanted to stay home and be online.
I was still living at home in university and got caught in the crossfire of their really messy divorce. I wound up not talking with my mom for years after. I stayed living with my dad for a bit, moved out with roommates for a bit, moved back in with my dad. While I was living with roommates I started talking with my mom again, and a bit after moving back in with my dad I left again and moved in with my mom. During all of this, I was failing classes. I wound up taking six years to do a four year CompSci degree and moved to a new city as soon as I found a programming job elsewhere. Took another 5 years (and another move to an even further away city) to slowly get out of my depression after that.
I'm mostly ok with my parents now. Call them every couple of weeks or so to chat for a while. Visit once in a while. The relationship is much healthier at a longer distance.
I could blame them for a lot of crap during my university years. My mental health was a dumpster. I did really poorly for a while there and it was a big struggle to finish my bachelors, but I'm glad I did in spite of every. I also think my mental health problems dragged on for years after, which really affected my job performance in my early career and held me back a lot. I've mostly righted the ship by now but it's been a long road.
I was still living at home in university and got caught in the crossfire of their really messy divorce. I wound up not talking with my mom for years after. I stayed living with my dad for a bit, moved out with roommates for a bit, moved back in with my dad. While I was living with roommates I started talking with my mom again, and a bit after moving back in with my dad I left again and moved in with my mom. During all of this, I was failing classes. I wound up taking six years to do a four year CompSci degree and moved to a new city as soon as I found a programming job elsewhere. Took another 5 years (and another move to an even further away city) to slowly get out of my depression after that.
I'm mostly ok with my parents now. Call them every couple of weeks or so to chat for a while. Visit once in a while. The relationship is much healthier at a longer distance.
I could blame them for a lot of crap during my university years. My mental health was a dumpster. I did really poorly for a while there and it was a big struggle to finish my bachelors, but I'm glad I did in spite of every. I also think my mental health problems dragged on for years after, which really affected my job performance in my early career and held me back a lot. I've mostly righted the ship by now but it's been a long road.