I find it hilarious that on Windows there are commands using Windows style optio...

I find it hilarious that on Windows there are commands using Windows style options (ipconfig, robocopy) and Unix style options (netstat, tracert). That's probably part of the POSIX compliance. So the list of possible help options to try is even longer: "/?", "-?", "/h", "-h", "/help", "-help", and "--help". For most of the utilities distributed by MS "/?" works even if the command uses dash options, but third party utilities usually support only their "native" options.

    git /?: '/?' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

    7z /?: Unsupported command

    psql /?: trying to connect

And for PowerShell cmdlets you should use "help Verb-Thing" or "help Verb-Thing --Online".

Just if the mess couldn't get any messier.