I also really appreciate my time alone after my wife goes to bed, but we have a 3 month old baby now and I’m assuming once she’s a couple years older that’ll no longer be an option. I also have a hard time deciding between doing something fun for myself (like playing a video game) guilt-free or getting work done during that time.
As an aside, I’d think our sex life would be better if we went to bed together. As it stands right now it’s something we need to specifically decide to do, and I’m guessing with couples that go to bed together there’s more of an assumption there.
> we have a 3 month old baby now and I’m assuming once she’s a couple years older that’ll no longer be an option
Starting from right now, it's no longer an option for you, if your share of parenting responsibilities is a fair one and you don't just dump the caregiving of the baby unto your wife.
So kiss your spare time goodbye starting from right now. Until your daughter is old enough that she can play on her own for extended periods of time without constantly needing attention, and that's a long road ahead in the future.
Whenever this reality gets me down, a smile from my daughter and some playtime with her is enough to bring joy to my life. I love her. But my hobbies suffer and this frustrates me.
Actually it’s worked out really well so far - my wife would go to bed around 9 and I’d stay up until after midnight so I could handle her and do the first feeding of the night.
The past few weeks she’s largely been sleeping through the night though, so that system is no longer needed. I’m a photographer and this is my off season so I’ve been watching the baby during the day until her daycare starts in a few weeks. It’s on the way to my wife’s work so in the short term I don’t think our schedules need to change quite yet.
We're about to enter into the phase of our lives where we want children. This year will be the year we start, erm, trying.
I know I need to get balance into my life because a child will be very destabilizing to my current lifestyle. * sigh * It feels like I don't have enough time to buy my own freedom.
As an aside, I’d think our sex life would be better if we went to bed together. As it stands right now it’s something we need to specifically decide to do, and I’m guessing with couples that go to bed together there’s more of an assumption there.