first of all, congrats on finding a great job with smart colleagues and fun problems.
you need to be able to put this aside for the moment.
as in, not the the useful advice, but agonising over 'fair'.
I've had negative feedback that I thought was exaggerated.
How I dealt with it was to take on the feedback nonetheless, because I wanted to satisfy to myself that the criticism while valid was not a useful perspective on my work.
I've also had negative feedback that I was convinced was totally misplaced.
How I dealt with it was to sympathise with my manager's position: they were obviously having difficulties with their own responsibilities.
I've also once had negative feedback that I had to admit was totally valid.
How I dealt with it was to realise that my colleagues wanted me to perform at a higher level. I took their advice on what changes to make in my work, and went on to enjoy many more years in that role.
The first few years of my career were punctuated with consistent positive feedback, and I think I was the worse for it. Any mistakes I made were treated as aberrations, and for a few years I never got any advice about how to be better. Instead I got totally unhelpful declarations of brilliance that did nothing to help me grow.
quite likely your boss and your manager are more at fault in this scenario, but if so, you need to let them be wrong this time. As others here have suggested, I'd encourage you to pursue regular progress reviews with your immediate report.
you need to be able to put this aside for the moment. as in, not the the useful advice, but agonising over 'fair'.
I've had negative feedback that I thought was exaggerated. How I dealt with it was to take on the feedback nonetheless, because I wanted to satisfy to myself that the criticism while valid was not a useful perspective on my work.
I've also had negative feedback that I was convinced was totally misplaced. How I dealt with it was to sympathise with my manager's position: they were obviously having difficulties with their own responsibilities.
I've also once had negative feedback that I had to admit was totally valid. How I dealt with it was to realise that my colleagues wanted me to perform at a higher level. I took their advice on what changes to make in my work, and went on to enjoy many more years in that role.
The first few years of my career were punctuated with consistent positive feedback, and I think I was the worse for it. Any mistakes I made were treated as aberrations, and for a few years I never got any advice about how to be better. Instead I got totally unhelpful declarations of brilliance that did nothing to help me grow.
quite likely your boss and your manager are more at fault in this scenario, but if so, you need to let them be wrong this time. As others here have suggested, I'd encourage you to pursue regular progress reviews with your immediate report.