> The main thing is I only get energy from talking to interesting people about interesting things
I can relate to this, but to me it's different than true extroversion.
My mom was an extrovert. I took her to the grocery store once, waited for her at the front while she tooled around in a cart (she was elderly but wanted to shop by herself). She had to pick up maybe 5 things. After about 20 minutes, I called her and she didn't answer. After 10 more minutes I called, she answered, and said she was talking to a "friend" about her husband who had recently died. I said, "Who is this?", and she said "You don't know her, we just met." I actually got kinda mad that I had been waiting all this time, she hadn't finished her shopping, and had been (and still was!) talking to some stranger so long.
Once we were in standing in line at the checkout, again at the grocery but when she was younger and getting around okay, and people would just start spontaneously talking to her, or she to them. Next thing you know they'd be telling her about their husband that cheated on them, they didn't get along with their kids, or who knows what!
In the grocery store, no one talks to me - ever. I don't care, but it just doesn't happen. My mom told me once it's because I don't look at people. My sister asked why everyone talked to Mom and my mom said, "the secret is, don't ever talk about yourself. If someone tells you something, just act interested, say 'Really?', or ask them a question, but then wait for them to start talking again." My sister has tried it and said it's amazing how well it works.
A big difference between me and my mom is that she was actually interested in the lives of complete strangers. She liked people on a level way above me. And not just for small talk: she talked with them about their lives, their problems, their goals, their careers - you name it. She was energized by talking to all kinds of people. To her, all people were interesting and energized her. A true extrovert.
I can relate to this, but to me it's different than true extroversion.
My mom was an extrovert. I took her to the grocery store once, waited for her at the front while she tooled around in a cart (she was elderly but wanted to shop by herself). She had to pick up maybe 5 things. After about 20 minutes, I called her and she didn't answer. After 10 more minutes I called, she answered, and said she was talking to a "friend" about her husband who had recently died. I said, "Who is this?", and she said "You don't know her, we just met." I actually got kinda mad that I had been waiting all this time, she hadn't finished her shopping, and had been (and still was!) talking to some stranger so long.
Once we were in standing in line at the checkout, again at the grocery but when she was younger and getting around okay, and people would just start spontaneously talking to her, or she to them. Next thing you know they'd be telling her about their husband that cheated on them, they didn't get along with their kids, or who knows what!
In the grocery store, no one talks to me - ever. I don't care, but it just doesn't happen. My mom told me once it's because I don't look at people. My sister asked why everyone talked to Mom and my mom said, "the secret is, don't ever talk about yourself. If someone tells you something, just act interested, say 'Really?', or ask them a question, but then wait for them to start talking again." My sister has tried it and said it's amazing how well it works.
A big difference between me and my mom is that she was actually interested in the lives of complete strangers. She liked people on a level way above me. And not just for small talk: she talked with them about their lives, their problems, their goals, their careers - you name it. She was energized by talking to all kinds of people. To her, all people were interesting and energized her. A true extrovert.