Eh, I thought you were doing it to "teach a life skill", not to have someone else do the work for you.
My oldest is about to be 5. Not in the age to be doing laundry by herself, but I do get her to pick her toys up after playing or to set her bed in the morning, help take out the dishes after dinner, etc. The thing is that it takes me more time to make sure that she is doing things properly and learning to do things independently in the future that if I just went on and did myself. It's more work for me. Convenience is the last of my concerns.
It's completely reasonable to expect kids to do things - e.g. cleaning their room, helping with the washing up - for your convenience. Why should life be completely one-sided? That's a way to raise a spoiled kid.
Of course, yes, you also make some requests for teaching purposes. But what you're teaching her is to do things for your convenience in future.
"For your convenience" sounds terrible, like you're using the child as a slave. But most families do things for each others' convenience the whole time, and that is fine and normal.
I am not disagreeing with you on the what, just on the why.
> But what you're teaching her is to do things for your convenience in future.
God, I really hope not. There are a thousand different ways where one can "avoid any inconvenience". You can hire help. You can just shove all their things in their rooms and simply not worry about what they do with it.
The reason we teach the kids is because we love them and we want to instill important values in them. To repeat: convenience is the last of my concerns.
>"For your convenience" sounds terrible, like you're using the child as a slave
Not just that. It sounds like relationships are based on some sort of transactional nature. I don't go making around some kind of calculus about cost/benefit of each act or what I am getting from it. Love is selfless.
I respectfully suggest that, like almost everyone, you are less than selfless - even when your children are concerned. You sometimes want them to turn their music down, clean their rooms, or run an errand, because it would be nicer for you. That is not a moral failing, but a reflection of the fact that you are a normal human being.
> There are a thousand different ways where one can "avoid any inconvenience". You can hire help.
There is almost no family that would not be seriously inconvenienced, at the very least, if children just did what they wanted. Most families can certainly not afford hired help.
> I thought you were doing it to "teach a life skill", not to have someone else do the work for you
Having, and handling real responsibility for things that really matter is a life skill. Makework isn't the same, and kids aren't (mostly) stupid enough not to see through the difference.
You can't meaningfully separate pedagogical purpose from parental convenience here because they are aligned.
My oldest is about to be 5. Not in the age to be doing laundry by herself, but I do get her to pick her toys up after playing or to set her bed in the morning, help take out the dishes after dinner, etc. The thing is that it takes me more time to make sure that she is doing things properly and learning to do things independently in the future that if I just went on and did myself. It's more work for me. Convenience is the last of my concerns.