There's nothing tonedeaf about exploring how the situation can be avoided in the future.
Obviously, the phone being borked is relevant, but in that case we need to ask what preemptive measures can be taken on a phone that isn't yet borked. It may be that the only answer right now is "don't keep nudes on your phone" then that's unfortunate and should be addressed.
There's a subset of people who get angry at any implication that people have agency they can use to make decisions to make their life less risky in these sorts of contexts. Fine, whatever, they're entitled to their world view.
What boggles the mind is the overlap this group appears to more or less be a subset of people who are up in arms anytime someone doesn't take steps to de-risk their life in any other context (like using an older car seat for your kid or not putting GFCI breakers into everything under the sun).
I am not. For you to interpret helpful advice as blame is some serious mental gymnastics. "If you need to send in your phone, you can do X and Y to protect yourself" does not assign blame to anyone.
> Someday you might be hacked. Is it your fault for using technology at all knowing you can be hacked?
Why are you so obsessed about assigning blame? Do you think everyone should ignore security best practices, since its not their fault if they get hacked?
Go ahead and set your HN password to "password", please. It wouldn't be your fault if you got hacked, so why would you care if I knew your password?
To actually answer your question, no. It would not be my fault if I got hacked. But I don't want to get hacked, so I take reasonable steps to avoid being hacked anyway. I am an adult with the responsibility and agency to take care of myself.
"They deserved it for sending in an unwiped phone" is victim blaming.
"If you need to send in your phone, you can do X and Y to protect yourself" is absolutely NOT victim blaming.
I cannot wrap my mind around why people would have a problem with the second statement.