The solution is to look at federation more than to decentralization.
Together with decentralization comes the idea that centralization is bad, which is wrong; centers are good, you just have to protect the sistem from abusive centers, and/or let people choose which center or center of centers they prefer.
In an alternare universe facebook has a moderation system users "subscribe to" that warns your client of what content you are likely to want to avoid but allowed you to "fork" it so that if you were displeased with their moderation you could run your own and have others subscribe to your moderation instead/too
Federation, at least the way email, XMPP, the Fediverse, and the production version of Matrix do it, is a half-assed approach to data portability.
The biggest problem with it is that, if a formerly-good server goes bad (or goes away entirely), everyone who used it is screwed, because their identity is tied up in the server. This means your most important criteria for choosing a server is stability. In practice, most of the user base picks old, established servers, hoping that the past predicts the future, and cementing a small oligopoly who can then use their power to direct the network’s future.
Real portability, like Matrix is working on and Scuttlebutt already has, helps with this problem. If your user ID isn’t tied up in a domain name, then you can try out hosting your own server, and switch to and from it without much risk, so more people will try it.
I agree that federation can be implemented badly; with emails the problem is that comunications are federated but identity is not.
A possible half-assed solution would be to have your identity be linked to a public key you can move between servers.
Obviously non-bitcoin-like network will have nodes more important than others on which users will ends up relying. The solution is not to delete any kind of "centricity" but rather to make nodes easy to replace.
Together with decentralization comes the idea that centralization is bad, which is wrong; centers are good, you just have to protect the sistem from abusive centers, and/or let people choose which center or center of centers they prefer.
In an alternare universe facebook has a moderation system users "subscribe to" that warns your client of what content you are likely to want to avoid but allowed you to "fork" it so that if you were displeased with their moderation you could run your own and have others subscribe to your moderation instead/too