Yep, you hit the nail on the head. In All-Star Superman, Lex Luthor was described as "not the smartest man in the room, but the smartest man in every room." Originally, that's how I wanted to be described, but s/smart/larg/. That evolved into the need to compete, and after finally taking first in a tested competition and finding it didn't bring me the fulfillment I'd been craving, I realized that external validation wouldn't help me see my body in a positive light and turned instead towards the goal of personal satisfaction. That might be the right lesson from after-school specials, but trying to self-validate through a mental lens that filters out all "positive" progress and highlights the shortcomings can't bring a person any real personal satisfaction- I needed to get help as well, and (fortunately) eventually I did.
