> The purpose of the axiom and lesson is for children to learn how to deal with those types of situations.
That is a noble purpose, but I don't think it's a particularly powerful tool to tell a child "Well, at least they only insulted and threatened you, they haven't actually broken any of your bones yet."
I agree that children need better tools for dealing with verbal aggression, and maybe modern societies are relying on simplistic approaches that don't build resilient minds; I just think that teaching kids that they are in the wrong for feeling hurt when they're insulted is letting them down too.
No where in the either the saying nor the lesson that have been taught around it is the position that a child or anyone is "wrong" for the feeling hurt if they are insulted. The purpose is to take those feelings, understand them, deal with them in a healthy way, and not let them return as anger, resentment, or worse. To be "the bigger person" emotionally and to view those that would use verbal insults as social outcast, to be mentally strong enough to walk away and dissociate with people that do not respect you. To no engage or "meet them at their level" by just tossing verbal insults at each other, etc
Also round the concept is a respect for free expression, to teach that someone may say something you dislike or you feel is offensive / harmful and you need to be able deal with that. As a culture in America anyway we used to place free expression, even "harmful expression" above all else, this is something I absolutely agree with. Nations, and culture that attempt to regulated "acceptable speech" with so called "hate speech" law is not something I can ever support or understand.
That is a noble purpose, but I don't think it's a particularly powerful tool to tell a child "Well, at least they only insulted and threatened you, they haven't actually broken any of your bones yet."
I agree that children need better tools for dealing with verbal aggression, and maybe modern societies are relying on simplistic approaches that don't build resilient minds; I just think that teaching kids that they are in the wrong for feeling hurt when they're insulted is letting them down too.