This is similar in theme to the article about frequent feedback that was posted here a few days ago.
On some level there's a choice between experiencing and growing from your failures, or being shielded from recognizing failure in the first place.
The second one "feels" better until someone comes along and eats you in your weakness.
The thing I am curious about is how this will play out in America. Meaning will weak americans just fade away as the strong ones accumulate skills, wealth and family? Or is weakness so permitted that we will be taken over externally?
The former will be a good cultural and physical rejuvenation for the republic. The second a disaster.
Spent the week with my 20 months old niece and quickly taught her a new word: "almost." She used to say "uh oh" when she failed at a task, or would ask for help. Instead of praising her for at least trying the task, i would say "almost" and soon I saw her saying this to herself, and it seemed to encourage her to try again until she succeeded.
I'm not a parent so I have no idea if this is good or not.
But it strikes me that there is more to giving feedback than just quantity of it, or positive/negative. "Almost" introduces another dimension, and potentially activates a different set of motivating emotions as well.
I believe what you are describing would be part of what people call a growth mindset where there is not really a fixed point of completion.
So a statement like, “Wow, you are good at reading!” might become “Wow, you are getting so much better at sounding out those really tricky words!”.
The first statement is more self-esteem building where the second is more highlighting an area where growth has happened and can continue to happen.
To me the first also feels quite lazy and anecdotally speaking from my kids, they really like when I actually pay attention and give feedback on specifics of what they are working on.
I love this comment, and while I don't have kids, small kids seem to like me, and I seem to get along well with them. I love the using almost, and of course it's probably also a tone of voice and also showing attention. But I do the same thing with words, giving praise like "so close" or "try it again" with excitement. I also like framing things like games or adventures.
"weak Americans fading away will be a good cultural and physical rejuvenation for the republic"
Seriously?
What exactly constitutes a "weak" American. Do you consider this some inherent generic property or do you recognize the socioeconomic/environmental circumstances that greatly constrain how most of downtrodden America developed and continue to live.
What do you mean by "fade away"?
>> Seriously? What exactly constitutes a "weak" American ... What do you mean by "fade away"?
By "weak" I mean ones with poor reading comprehension :) J/K - I think it should be clear from the previous paragraph that I am making a contrast with those who can handle perceiving and learning from failure and those who can't.
On a relative level - two kids go to the same school. They get the same math homework. The first kid gets it wrong but it's told it's fine. The second kid gets it wrong too, but he's told that he got it wrong and feels bad about it but also learns to get it right.
Compounded over a lifetime, person B learns and accumulated strength and capability relative to person A, with person A having relatively less wealth and power. That's what I mean by weakness and fading. Remember, kid B didn't start off with more wealth and opportunity, he was just not shielded from painful learning in the name of self esteem.
>> do you recognize the socioeconomic/environmental circumstances that greatly constrain how most of downtrodden America developed and continue to live
This is a different topic (I intentionally constrain my example to people who start off on the same rung) and not relevant to the point I am making.
But personally - as someone who came to the US as a penny-less immigrant (as did most of my current friends and family) - I refuse to "recognize" that and in fact attribute our relative success in this country to not thinking that way.
On some level there's a choice between experiencing and growing from your failures, or being shielded from recognizing failure in the first place.
The second one "feels" better until someone comes along and eats you in your weakness.
The thing I am curious about is how this will play out in America. Meaning will weak americans just fade away as the strong ones accumulate skills, wealth and family? Or is weakness so permitted that we will be taken over externally?
The former will be a good cultural and physical rejuvenation for the republic. The second a disaster.