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> I've found that the biggest impact you can have on anyone's behavior (adult or child) is to set the example.

I agree in principle, but I find that that doesn't map very well to the digital world.

This past Saturday, I spent about six hours staring at a screen. My kids did too. I was making music, an act I find creative, meaningful, and intellectually stimulating. They were mostly watching YouTube videos of people playing Minecraft.

At the primitive monkey brain level where "setting an example" kicks in, all my kids saw was that I was staring at a screen so they did too.




Ok, so why did you not make music together with your children if you don't want them to watch Minecraft videos? It feels like you wasted an opportunity there. Blaming your kids for not knowing how to make music is pretty weird.


Learning to play Minecraft seems like a meaningful activity. It's essentially digital Legos, not to different perhaps from the way you compose music on your digital canvas.

Is there something else you would rather your kids be doing?


Go outside. Explore the neighborhood. Ride your bike. Read a book. Practice your cello. Tinker in the basement.

I may be old fashioned, but Minecraft strikes me as faux-creative. It's not something you get "better" at. That's just my reaction, having watched it done. It puts you in a state of flow without actually flowing anywhere.


My question was intended as a direct question to parent poster. If that's what you want your kids to be doing, then that's what you should be doing. Your kid wants to be just like you. They watch everything you do, and they will find their own way to do what they think you are doing.

So, want your kids to go outside? Go outside. Want them to read? Read. Want them to practice cello? Practice cello.

Want them to learn how to build digital creative? Let them see you building your own digital creations.


I did all of those things.

From my experience and observation of other parents and kids, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes they want to be like you, sometimes the opposite.


There's certainly many factors involved (age is a huge one), and it's important to remember that you cannot control or change other people. You can only influence them to change. I believe that is just as true of children as any other human.

By doing the activity yourself, you expose the child to it, and they may decide to take part. Over time, they will almost certainly take interest. That doesn't mean you read a book one day and get frustrated because they are playing video games. You read a book every weekend because you want to, and over time, it influences how your child perceives best use of free time, demonstrates discipline, and showcases a non video game activity.




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