Disarm. Don't be an ass. Be weak. Be self-deprecating. Build Ethos.
Bullshit. Building ethos has nothing to do with playing it down. As long as you do and talk only what you are sure and confident of and politely abstain from what you are not. Then you have disarmed and conquered.
Ethos is your projection on other people. And self-depreciation is not a way to impress other people. It shows that you are insecure and frankly, dumb. A smart person never points out his weaknesses, you may show that you are vulnerable - but any kind of drama ruins it.
There are countless strategies for social interaction. But none of the winning entail hiding in the corner and weeping.
huh? Would you care to explain what I did wrong? I chose to disagree with one of the points of the blog. And I chose so because it is incredibly bad advice. If you have problem with the tone of my opinion - I have to say that advice was incredibly lousy and thus the tone of my comment reflects that.
The biggest problem audience like HN's (a lot of smart and socially awkward people) has is the one of lack of self promotion skills. These people are already too humble and too weak.
What you might misconceive of me is - that I am not commenting here for self-promotion. I am commenting here to share my knowledge and to receive feedback - just like yours. So from my viewpoint I am trying to increase S/N ratio by cutting down on courteousness. I can afford to do that since most of HN audience is well educated enough to know that opinions are ones own and thus know not to take things personally.
Also another strategy I use is the one of provocation. The provocation aimed at the kind of person I am hoping to entice here - leads to a more frank and to the point debate. The side cost is that there is a lot of emotion intermixed - but the sought information is usually still there. So while some people tend to exchange niceities and shallow conversation amongst wide circle of people - I want to hear opinions from people who have them.
I don't have a problem with your tone. What I suspect, though, is that based on the message you're trying to convey, you might be the target of the author.
"So from my viewpoint I am trying to increase S/N ratio by cutting down on courteousness. I can afford to do that since most of HN audience is well educated enough to know that opinions are ones own and thus know not to take things personally."
One of the points that the article is attempting to communicate is that different people need different approaches. You yourself said that most of the HN audience know not to take things personally, which implies you understand that this is not the case for other people. Cutting down on courteousness may be acceptable in HN, but it won't work for most other people.
"As long as you do and talk only what you are sure and confident of and politely abstain from what you are not. Then you have disarmed and conquered."
And this is what the article attempted to explain - just because you know what you are talking about and other don't, it doesn't mean others will willingly buy into what you're saying. It doesn't mean you have "disarmed and conquered".
One of the points that the article is attempting to communicate is that different people need different approaches. You yourself said that most of the HN audience know not to take things personally, which implies you understand that this is not the case for other people. Cutting down on courteousness may be acceptable in HN, but it won't work for most other people.
Indeed, I completely agree with you.
And this is what the article attempted to explain - just because you know what you are talking about and other don't, it doesn't mean others will willingly buy into what you're saying. It doesn't mean you have "disarmed and conquered".
In rhetoric there are three fundamental persuasion vectors. Logos - reason and logic; Pathos - emotion and subconsciousness and Ethos - appearance, charisma and social background. Pathos and Ethos are the most powerful ones - and thus every advertisement and every (successful) piece of propaganda is short on logic and reason and extremely long on emotion and appeal to authority. That is why geeks are lousy marketers and communicators. Because they are trying to convince people that their offering is rational and logical decision - but people don't care much about what makes sense.
So to respond to you - what you're saying is less important than the conviction with which it is conveyed. When have you heard or seen Steve Jobs act vulnerable and self-deprecating? That would be the single biggest mistake he could do. People are social animals and we are good at spotting insecurities - thus one does not point out his weaknesses out of his own accord. Should others notice them - you confirm them (Yes its there...) but you never expand on that.
My suggestion of talking and doing only what you are confident about is actually a trick about how to make oneself appear a figure of wisdom and authority far beyond one's true abilities. A person with great Ethos know very well when to speak and when to shut ones trap.
But one can be courteous and gentle and strong at the same time. A gentleman if you will. Humility is for peasants not for those whom they aspire towards.
And this is exactly the ethos I am talking about. Doing anything self-deprecating is hurting your value proposition if you will. Thus one must strive to appear powerful, yet abstain from insulting the observers. Humility has nothing to do with winning peoples respect - quite the contrary.
Bullshit. Building ethos has nothing to do with playing it down. As long as you do and talk only what you are sure and confident of and politely abstain from what you are not. Then you have disarmed and conquered.
Ethos is your projection on other people. And self-depreciation is not a way to impress other people. It shows that you are insecure and frankly, dumb. A smart person never points out his weaknesses, you may show that you are vulnerable - but any kind of drama ruins it.
There are countless strategies for social interaction. But none of the winning entail hiding in the corner and weeping.