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You sound like me in the final year of 6th form (last year of high school in the UK).

I don't really have time to write a longer answer right now, but I'd say - don't worry, your behavior is pretty much a rational response to your environment. Things do get a bit better at university, so it's worth making the effort to get into one with a program you like. (Caveats: one you like might not be one that's highly prestigious; university is better than high school, but not always that much better).



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