You see these kinds of problems in things like the Elm community, where any critical tone is interpreted as a real attack against people. Predictably, the real problems just don't get addressed because the owner(s) are simply incapable of handling conflict or disagreement, and tend to shut it down rather than really respond to it.
It's sad, in its own way, since I can see why a community would go this way: the relentlessness of criticism can wear you down, so why not avoid it all? In reality, you just pay a different price: those who are right but disagree in a fairly critical way will leave. They're often a great asset. There's a difference, and a fairly big one, between being negative and being mean, but people often conflate them as one and the same.
I've experienced this. I play & stream a game called DCSS and the developers of that game utilize a form of posiopathy to shut down any criticism. That is to say, any criticism of their development decisions is - similar to what you described - reframed as a "personal attack."
Personally I see this as a tool that authoritarians and small-minded people use to deflect criticism and/or control people. People who have control/power shut down conflict - ostensibly motivated by a desire to keep things "nice" or "positive" - but really it just compels people to accept the status quo.
I would actually argue that online communities and contemporary society in general skews posiopathic, in part because of these kinds of "hall monitor" type authority figures.
If you're available to jump on an anonymous voice chat sometime, I'd be interested in talking to you, the topic being, oh, I don't know, let's say philosophy.
I should really get organized and put some anon email in my profile, particularly since it's me making the request, I figured I'd just send you a note here and see if it catches your eye first.
It'll be easier to talk off-site, in any event. I'm finding that the comments section of ycombinator is like a shittier version of Reddit (if that's even possible), where you get censored even harder for posting anything that power-users don't like.
It's sad, in its own way, since I can see why a community would go this way: the relentlessness of criticism can wear you down, so why not avoid it all? In reality, you just pay a different price: those who are right but disagree in a fairly critical way will leave. They're often a great asset. There's a difference, and a fairly big one, between being negative and being mean, but people often conflate them as one and the same.