When do you know if a co-founder isn't working?

[arthief]

Question: When you do know if a cofounder relationship isn't working or if you have to be more resilient and power through a valley?

Long story short: My co-founder and I have been friends for a long time. He's the most intelligent & hardworking person I know, but we've been in so many arguments we're both getting exhausted.

Tension is always in the air and I feel as if there is little room to make mistakes or pursue ideas without a fight breaking out or ideas being shot down. It feels like we want to drive the company in different directions. We have very different ideas of how to lead and the kind of culture we want in our company.

Some days are good, other days are awful. Because it's on and off, I'm not sure if it will smooth itself out or if our personalities/styles cannot mesh in business.

[jpconver]

This is a very interesting question. I'm in a different scenario due that I envisioned an idea and I hire a developer to program stuff. So in my case I give the orders. In your case is more difficult due that you need to discuss and agree on several stuff. There are always differences between people I suggest to have a open minded talk with you co-founder and divide responsibilities to tackle problems better. For example Larry and Sergey from google learned how to respect each other in a long term relationship -> https://www.quora.com/What-makes-the-relationship-between-La...

[tlb]

The co-founder relationship is as complex and difficult as a marriage, and it takes conscious effort to sustain it. So if I can give one bit of advice, it's to expect to have to work seriously on the relationship.

Some resources well-regarded by YC founders are https://www.helloinnerspace.org/ and https://www.foundercoach.io/