You need to travel a bit more in Europe, then you can understand that many Europeans find the overattentiveness and simpering friendliness of American waiters shallow and insincere.
You will also find that whether tap water is free or not varies between (and sometimes within) countries.
Really, your problem is over attentiveness? That someone comes over a few times to ask you if you something?
What I found immensely insincere and fake is exactly the European style.
There is this pomp, where initially the waiter is expected almost humiliate themselves, seems like the customer expects to be treated you like royalty, but in fact the waiter is sick and tired of another "royalty" bossing them around, getting nothing for good service, and will screw you over at their first opportunity
In the US the waiter fakes that they are your friend
In Europe the waiter fakes that they are your servant
The European view is that going to dinner is a leisurely affair, which can take hours, and is part of socializing. ("A Norwegian friend explained that many Norwegians have small homes and use restaurants for entertaining. It's eat and talk, not eat and run.")
While to Europeans, the US culture seems more like one of turning tables to get more customers through.
"I've had to explain to Americans that the service in Europe isn't bad when the server isn't hovering over you. They think it's rude to rush you!"
"My husband and I love the European restaurant culture. When we’re back in the USA after a trip, my husband gets annoyed with the habit of some restaurants where three different people will stop by the table to ask if everything’s fine, followed by the quick bill with a “no hurry”. But, everyone knows they want people to leave for a couple more table turns."
So, what you see as "attentiveness", other see as pressure to get them out.
Culture's odd like that. I grew up in the US South saying ma'am and sir to anyone over about the age of 10. Then I moved to California, and was chided for using "ma'am" to someone. It wasn't that she had a problem with politeness, it was the cultural context changed, so my polite wasn't her polite.
You will also find that whether tap water is free or not varies between (and sometimes within) countries.