"... A professional will know how to sort out those different feelings and process them. It would be hard to do that on your own. ..."
I'd hesitate to advise someone to be debriefed by a professional. For all their training, empathy, my thoughts & feelings are my own. Not to be dissected, diagnosed and cataloged. A diagnosed "cure" coming from a pill.
When I was a bit younger than most of you blokes, I organised and executed a medical emergency extraction. The young lad later died from severe wounds. With hind sight I'd would have done 2 things
- postpone my studies
- repeat the story to as many people as I can tell
The first point recognises you are likely to be in shock with all the associated symptoms - numbness, forgetfulness, irritability, inability to concentrate. The second point is a pretty good antidote for PSTD and I practice it when I get the occasion. A chat to a group of sympathetic mates down the pub over a pint, is going to more than turning a tragic event into a medical event.
So put the startup plan on hold. Do something different. You will gain perspective over time. Look out for trigger events. It can give you flashbacks. I started to get them years after and had to use different techniques and put to rest ghosts of the past.
"I'd hesitate to advise someone to be debriefed by a professional. For all their training, empathy, my thoughts & feelings are my own. Not to be dissected, diagnosed and cataloged."
That's an archaic attitude towards psychology.
A trained psychological professional, will, for example, differentiate between their own experiences and those of their client, while the people on here will tell their own stories as if their stories have relevance on how this guy should proceed. (That can be healthy, too, but it's not a substitute for a primary relationship with a person trained at recognizing the places transference operates).
What you shouldn't do is take any advice on here. That would be like getting programming advice from a psychologist. I've done a couple years of work with people on hospice, and have done a little with suicide prevention stuff. So I'm aware that these professionals should be respected and used, and I'm also aware how pathetically easy it is to get duped by transference during these situations involving grief.
"... That's an archaic attitude towards psychology ... Get real help ..."
Archaic but effective. I imagine my repressed Anglo-Celtic ancestry where death & grieving was followed with a "wet-wake" ~ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wake_(ceremony) I imagine served them well. Tragic as it is death is also a part of life. While groups of like kin may be devoid of the latest medical advancements they do have advantage of common sense. There is quite a magnitude of difference b/w grief and mental illness quite visible to people you know well.
"... What you shouldn't do is take any advice on here. That would be like getting programming advice from a psychologist. I've done a couple years of work with people on hospice, and have done a little with suicide prevention stuff ..."
By your own admission I wouldn't take yours either. But I do see your point.
You are presenting a false dichotomy. A professional is not going to stop you from grieving in whatever modality feels right to you, while helping you identify emotions, process them, and dealing with what unique challenges come up.
I'd hesitate to advise someone to be debriefed by a professional. For all their training, empathy, my thoughts & feelings are my own. Not to be dissected, diagnosed and cataloged. A diagnosed "cure" coming from a pill.
When I was a bit younger than most of you blokes, I organised and executed a medical emergency extraction. The young lad later died from severe wounds. With hind sight I'd would have done 2 things
- postpone my studies
- repeat the story to as many people as I can tell
The first point recognises you are likely to be in shock with all the associated symptoms - numbness, forgetfulness, irritability, inability to concentrate. The second point is a pretty good antidote for PSTD and I practice it when I get the occasion. A chat to a group of sympathetic mates down the pub over a pint, is going to more than turning a tragic event into a medical event.
So put the startup plan on hold. Do something different. You will gain perspective over time. Look out for trigger events. It can give you flashbacks. I started to get them years after and had to use different techniques and put to rest ghosts of the past.