Motivation: "If I learn to do the things s/he does, I can be more successful too."
Rationalization: "Well, if I had had the same opportunities s/he did, I'd have been just as successful. I did the best I could with what I had. And at least I'm still doing better than X, Y, and Z."
Indifference: "X is doing well? That's nice. Wonder what I should have for lunch today?"
I find I gravitate more towards the bottom of the list as I get older.
Mine is more "X clearly loves doing Y - as much as I wish I did too, deep down I know I really don't. What do I actually like to do? I'll have more of that, thank you."
This is where I've landed as well. Earlier in my 20s I thought it was required for me to work on side projects that I have zero real interest in just so that I can keep up with my peers who were clearly better than me, when in reality I despise the idea of working on anything software-related outside of work. This limits me to being an above-average/good engineer rather than an exemplary one, but I'm comfortable with that. It just takes some time for you to figure out what you want out of your career.
I've found that envy is proportional to our own insecurity, self doubt, unhappiness with our own lives, etc.
The more confident, self assured, and happy I became with my own life, the more the envy went away. The more I became happy for that person's success. Also I've found that there more I know and like a person, the less envy I felt.
At least for me, getting married helped with this big-time.
Absolutely this. Early 20s it was always motivation, and now it's mostly indifference. Whether that's getting older, wiser, being burned out too many times, or learning to appreciate things outside of professional success in life... either way, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to.
This happens to pretty much everyone.
> What do you do about it?
Your options are:
Motivation: "If I learn to do the things s/he does, I can be more successful too."
Rationalization: "Well, if I had had the same opportunities s/he did, I'd have been just as successful. I did the best I could with what I had. And at least I'm still doing better than X, Y, and Z."
Indifference: "X is doing well? That's nice. Wonder what I should have for lunch today?"
I find I gravitate more towards the bottom of the list as I get older.