Really? I gifted romance books before to women. Not publicly, since I've never been in a situation to do so. They've all been happy about it since I always get them something random that they would never pick. Or is it that people really don't gift books? I remember the original book cover to 50 Shades was like a tie or something. It actually looked like a "tasteful" book if you didn't know better. Literally, I would have picked that up for my mom in a similar situation, if she didn't own it already...
I'm really thinking you're pushing a bias on the situation. Someone did something potentially nice, but in a lazy ass way. Like getting flowers for someone who is allergic to flowers. The laziness really bit them in the ass. It'd be the same if I told someone I liked horror and they got me Twilight because they heard it was about vampires and werewolves.
That's a situation where you laugh your ass off about it and crack a joke.
Firstly you shouldn't reward significant work achievements with a cheap book. That's tone deaf no matter what the book is.
Secondly if you do pick a book, you can at least try to make it relevant to someone's actual professional competence - something useful, but not insultingly peppy.
Thirdly if you're going to do that, you can ask them what they want, in a way that indicates you value their competence and opinion.
Gifts and rewards are all about social signalling, hierarchies and statements of relative value. The messages are understood whether or not you're aware you're speaking that language.
If you get it wrong, it's not just demotivating for the person, it's demotivating for everyone else too.
And no, you don't have to be super-serious about it. Jokey gifts are fine, although riskier than something straight. If the culture can take it, they're a good choice. But you have to be very sure that is the culture.
Whoa! You ask people what to get them as a gift? Do you also just tell them "Hey, I'm too important to remember your likes/dislikes and to make an effort to get you something that's at least somewhat meaningful." You realize a lot of people take that as a really bad insult right? Being asked what to get as a gift is just a "fuck you, I'm forced I get you something against my will". Why do you think when some people are asked that, they just say not to worry about it. That signals utter uselessness. Jesus, even my neighbors, who I barely know, got me Neil deGrasse Tyson's latest book for Christmas because they knew I like science. Seriously, like how heartless are you to just give advice to "Just ask what they want. Don't bother thinking about it. It's not important to think about that person on a human level and surprise them." Like, WOW. I just reread Man's Search for Meaning again last week, but your comment really just bothers the hell out of me. And you want to talk about cultural appropriate actions?
Now, check the op, it's "Most promising grad that's been there for a year." It's a borderline participation trophy. "Congrats, we didn't fire you." More than likely, senior management, who gave it to her, probably felt the same thing and thought making a big deal out of it was pointless. "At least get her something other than some stupid piece of paper". So the guy, who 99% likely didn't know her either, but did ask around what she likes and probably someone said "she likes to read". Maybe he even saw her read a book. Then he just either quickly ordered it off amazon if there was time for it to come in, or just walked into barnes and noble and saw the "New York Times Bestselling Book" table right at the door and picked it out. It is after all, someone he doesn't know. But at the same time thinks a stupid piece of paper and making a big deal about nothing is insulting to her as well. At least get her something of some minor tangible value.
The main point, most guys had no idea what the fuck the book was about the first year or two it came out. They just knew women liked the book and asked no more questions. It has a not racey cover on it. It's easy to think it's not too crazy judging by the cover.
Yea, profession book. Think about that one. "Congrats, we didn't fire you for a year, here's a book that'll teach you to do your job better." Talk about lacking empathy. At least getting a fiction book means, "Congrats, we didn't fire you, have fun with a book."
A gift that's demotivating is one of being generic. A gift that can apply to anyone. At least a book narrows you down to around a rough 30% demographic of a given population with written language. "Oh hey, I notice/heard you like to read. Since you've proved not to be useless to the company, here's a book people seem to like and I hope you enjoy it yourself."
I also highly doubt it was a joking gift. ESPECIALLY AT AN ACCOUNTING FIRM. You realize the HR nightmare and a half. Like, seriously. Because no one has ever fucked up by trying to do a simple nice gesture, ever, in human history. Everything is full of malice, hate and evil. Every single person. Must be if you think asking someone what they want as a gift is even remotely appropriate.
Gving the gift of a romance novel to a non-significant other is strange. Please consider that if the gift is from a man, most women would see it as odd at best, a misguided come-on at worst.
I'm really thinking you're pushing a bias on the situation. Someone did something potentially nice, but in a lazy ass way. Like getting flowers for someone who is allergic to flowers. The laziness really bit them in the ass. It'd be the same if I told someone I liked horror and they got me Twilight because they heard it was about vampires and werewolves.
That's a situation where you laugh your ass off about it and crack a joke.