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Similarly, I’ve experienced some extremely skeptical looks when I sit down next to a stranger my age on the bus and ask “how’s it going”. Some people here are very business-oriented, I guess: it ends up being less socially awkward if I open with something that’s on the surface more selfish: if I’m on the window seat when a stranger sits next to me it’s “which stop are you?” ... and then “I’m getting off just before that - I better take the outer seat” or “perfect, I’m riding until <xyz>”. Now I’ve broken the ice, in a way that’s more acceptable for whatever reason, I’ve had a minimal amount of interaction to guess if they’d prefer to talk or be left alone, and if talk, we both have opportunities for conversation-starters (whatcha doing at <xyz>).

I don’t know what to think of it: maybe I just overthink these interactions. But it’s been disappointing for me to finally start taking the initiative to speak with strangers only to find that 3/4s of them want nothing to do with it.




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