I was in chicago last week riding the L to the airport. One of the doors broke, and a maintenance worker came on to tell everyone to use the other door.
There were 10 more stops to the airport.
At every one someone tried to exit using the broken door. At first it was funny because they not only didn't hear the worker explain it, but also didn't notice the 5 people at the last stop who just did the same thing.
I started telling people as I saw them try to approach the door, but the look on everyones face was "who is this creep trying to talk to me right now".
Yep. I find my big on-ear headphones are a good "I don't want to talk to anyone" indicator :)
I basically never leave the house without them. I think if you tried talking to random strangers where I live most people would think you are a weirdo / creep. I don't think it would go well.
Never mind if it's a cross sexes conversation. A guy trying to make friendly conversation with a woman could go very south, quickly.
I work in a shared office / tech hub and you don't see people from different companies talking to each other at all really. In fact it can be quite humourous seeing how awkward it is if two people try to use the kitchen area, both trying to get their kitchening done without acknowleding the existence of the other, apart from the occasional "sorry" as they get in each others way.
Last time I was in Chicago I was approached by a hustler almost immediately after I got out of the parking garage. He gave me the typical spiel about his family being down the block and he was out of money. Not out of the ordinary for Chicago.
We engaged in small talk for a minute. After I put a $5 in his hand, he began to break down and explain that I was the "first white person" to talk to him all day. He went on to imply that "white people" are afraid of him (he's black). At the end of our exchange, he asked me for a hug and I reciprocated. He told me he'd pray for me and I wished him well.
Maybe it was all bullshit, but it brightened my entire day.
In my experience, because people got shit to do, whoch is why they're downtown.
Re: your new friend, the hustler.
You're a special person, because the standard reaction to that kind of person is to walk around them without making eye contact. I commuted through downtown daily, and I got to recognizing the hustlers pulling out the same rehearsed stories over and over again.
Of course, you definitely don't want to become as much of a cynic as me :)
I'm not sure it would even reproduce in Chicago. Downtown and the North, West, and South sides are pretty culturally distinct; how do the researchers know they're observing some universal human trait and not something that is specific to one culture?
Eh, it works fine enough in the Boston area. The key is to be able to read people's response quickly. You make a small comment or witticism, and they'll either give you a non-committal remark back or they'll literally light up and begin conversing with you. If you continue on when they haven't reacted positively, that's when you're perceived as annoying or weird.
I'm from the south and visited Boston earlier this year and I feel like people really overdo the whole "southerners are overly nice and in your business" and "northerners are cold, uninterested and busy". People we're equally nice in both places and we had some nice, brief conversations with strangers. A friend of mine who I was with is German and he seemed to think people were exceedingly friendly
Exactly my experience. The key is to start the conversation in a way that also allows the other person to exit and save face. If they don't feel trapped it's much lower stakes for everyone involved.
