I think this sounds like a really fun thing to do. I'm told that I write decently, and have been trying to get into the creative side of writing lately. Also, the PI-like aspect sounds fun! I'll hit you up on email.
email is on the way! Although the idea doesn't scale well, this actually seems like the seed of an interesting business.
I'd had a similar idea for dating sites: hire someone to write your profile, based on the best available data. OKCupid's blog has some great posts on how to basically SEO your profile (but instead of search traffic, you get dating traffic...) and it seems useful to a segment of the population to have it done professionally.
