I think zero tolerance on both parties plays a large part into this.
I was mercilessly bullied in elementary school until I attacked my bully at recess in 6th grade. I’m almost 40 now and it still stands out as a pivotal moment in my growth into an adult. That one action stopped the behavior for good and I wasn’t severely punished for it. It also settled down the kid who bullied me.
I know now that schools can punish victims as severely as the bully, and I think it exacerbates the problem instead of fixing it. The bullies incentives don’t change, but the victim of it has substantially more to fear. Not only from the bully, but the institution itself if they fight back or get goaded into the confrontation.
Frankly, let the children fight it out and allow an environment to develop where children don’t tolerate the behavior and work on conflict resolution themselves.
Overt surveillance by adults isn’t a fix for it, nor is allowing it to develop to a point where a kid brings a gun to school to fix it themselves.
We’ve lost healthy conflict resolution in this country, and yes, physical fighting can be a healthy outlet to solve it.
Parents can probably help here. School is unlikely to punish the bullied for self-defense if a parent threatens a VERY PUBLIC VERY EXPENSIVE LAWSUIT for his kid being punished for self-defense. Actual lawsuit not needed, the treat will likely be enough.
If our legal system provides for self-defense, schools should fall in line.
Yes, I know that enforcing this and finding out who hit whom first is hard, well, nobody said law (or rule) enforcement is easy!
Schools need to back off the punishment and let the children sort it out and keep eyes on them afterwards. If it continues after the altercation, step in to help mediate, but otherwise we need to be teaching children healthy and constructive conflict resolution so it carries into their adulthood.
Like I said, sometimes this may involve a physical confrontation, but for two children this is healthy in my opinion. I’ve never touched a human being in that manner since, and neither has the person who bullied me, but that fight resolved a littany of issues for both of us.
I understand this isn’t always the case that it can resolve as cleanly, but the way we handle it now with children is plain awful and a disservice to them. Zero tolerance creates an extremely unsafe environment for them. Take it case by case, let them resolve it, help them move on.
There was a case recently where 2 nine year old girls fought in a classroom and the substitute didn’t stop it in time. One girl sustained a head injury that later killed her. There is no way to sanction physical violence in a school setting. Restorative justice is a better solution and teaches kids real problem solving but that requires resources and training.
I was mercilessly bullied in elementary school until I attacked my bully at recess in 6th grade. I’m almost 40 now and it still stands out as a pivotal moment in my growth into an adult. That one action stopped the behavior for good and I wasn’t severely punished for it. It also settled down the kid who bullied me.
I know now that schools can punish victims as severely as the bully, and I think it exacerbates the problem instead of fixing it. The bullies incentives don’t change, but the victim of it has substantially more to fear. Not only from the bully, but the institution itself if they fight back or get goaded into the confrontation.
Frankly, let the children fight it out and allow an environment to develop where children don’t tolerate the behavior and work on conflict resolution themselves.
Overt surveillance by adults isn’t a fix for it, nor is allowing it to develop to a point where a kid brings a gun to school to fix it themselves.
We’ve lost healthy conflict resolution in this country, and yes, physical fighting can be a healthy outlet to solve it.