On: Scrum is fragile, not Agile

[anon1m0us]

The way I decided to play the game was like this, "I won't be attending the Daily Standups anymore as I don't think they add value and do subtract value."

The project mgmt response was, "Attendance at standups is mandatory."

Regardless, I didn't go to anymore standups and when I got flack for that, I stopped going to the office all together. When I got flack for that, I stopped working all together.

Then I got fired. That solved all my scrum problems.

[analog31 → anon1m0us]

I got criticized for zoning out at scrum meetings. So I watched what the managers do. They show up for the first few minutes, look alert, then leave as if in a hurry. I started doing the same thing, and never had a problem again.

[Aeolun → analog31]

If you do this often enough. People will assume you are busy if you don’t show up at all.

[madmulita → Aeolun]

Don't forget to always roll up your sleeves and carry around some papers.

[alchemism → madmulita]

If you are in a paperless office, tapping a tablet with a stylus as you walk confers the same office space prestige.

[maxxxxx → analog31]

That seems to be secret for managers anyway. Always appear eager and motivated and then run away.

[JustSomeNobody → maxxxxx]

Because what do they all actually do? They spend a large portion of their time waiting around for numbers they add[0] to a spreadsheet and report those numbers to their manager.

That's it. (Ok, once a year they do reviews.)

[0] If they don't bug a dev to do it.

[tarsinge → anon1m0us]

Great story from start to finish. I kept waiting for a happy turnaround but that ending was perfect.

[wale → tarsinge]

Yea, same here.

[iqihs → anon1m0us]

This pretty much sums up my experience with Software Dev at one of the Big 4.

[Toine → anon1m0us]

Thank you for giving me a really good laugh.

[forgotmypw → anon1m0us]

Attrition!