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This article reminds me of a complaint I've had about online gaming. I'm 36 and I remember when all online FPS games were played on centralized servers. If you logged on at the same time of day, you would see the same players you saw yesterday. Over time, you would develop relationships with those people and perhaps you would eventually meet them in real life. I have 2-3 very good real-life friends that I originally met online because of centralized FPS servers.

Nowadays, you can jump on an online FPS whenever you want and have a full server of players. But the chances you'll play someone from yesterday are very slim unless you deliberately 'friend' them. I feel sorry for kids growing up right now that are missing out on finding your own 'people' online.



I saw this mechanism occur directly with the game Team Fortress 2, released in 2007/8.

At first, you had to use the "server browser" which had a big list of servers. They had various plugins, maps, and customization, and each one had a group of "regulars" who knew each other, the moderators of the server, etc.

At some point (2013/14, I think?) they implemented a "quick-play" system which would deposit you into a random server. They quickly tightened it to exclude servers with any type of customization or plugins, and then eventually added "stock" servers.

My community server eventually totally dried up. You used to have to wait half an hour to get in when it was at its prime. I met several people from the server in real life.

It's like any other social place really. People making friends with strangers requires repeated contact, with the same group of people, in the same place/context.


I had the same experience and agree with your sentiment. Some people I've explained this to have argued that you can still experience this by joining clans, guilds, etc, but it's just not the same, not as organic.

Meeting someone in an FPS server and growing a relationship with them has the same feeling as being a kid, wandering off to a playground on your own a few blocks away, and making a friend.


IMO Minecraft is the big example of this nowadays - servers are self-hosted with their own rules and communities, and the nature of the game highly encourages social interaction. I've certainly played on servers that are closer to chatrooms than games, and some that have close-knit groups that have remained together for years.


This a big draw that old style MMOs like vanilla World of Warcraft had. Due to the way leveling works in this game, it takes a lot of time and unless you follow a guide, you will do a lot of backtracking. Along the way you will encounter players doing the same leveling that you do. While some will jump ahead because they play much more, for the most part, you stay on the adventure with the same kind of people, around your level. After a while, you'll start grouping with them for some harder quests. By the time you hit max level, you already have a group of friends you can play with that you've made throughout your adventure.

It's not the case with newer MMOs. Nowadays most MMOs try to rush you through the leveling considering it necessary evil, and any group content you can queue for and form a group with strangers. Once you finish the content, the group disbands and you can find another set of strangers, but it's not the same.


I agree with everything you said but will add that a young relative showed me how he played Xbox online and rather than teaming up with regulars he added friends with anyone he had a good game with. After that the online indications helped connect them in any game and over time certain friendships stuck. I’ve started doing this as well and it’s different but still feels like it has a similar result.


MUDs were like that, too. I knew when my friends were on, and we'd hang out, smash a few monsters and do a few quests, and talk about our days. Met quite a few people in real life from there. Most of the MUDs I frequented (LPs, primarily) are dead, or a shadow of their former selves.


Yeah, it's too bad that online game companies don't realize this and deliberately pair up the same "pool" of people together to create the sort of atmosphere where this can occur.


There is an interesting video essay about this phenomenon, using TF2 old servers and Overwatch new game matching as examples.

Errant Signal: Social Spaces & Payload Races - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hj1haLcdI0


> I feel sorry for kids growing up right now that are missing out on finding your own 'people' online.

A lot of kids are connecting via games like Roblox and Minecraft. A case in point is EthanGamer who has an expanding network of friends that all met up that way:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1o4Ct4ca7uzqohH0xdaZpQ

I've seen a few other gamer kids with similar networks.

FYI I don't follow those kids myself, it's my 5yo that loves watching these older kids play Roblox and Minecraft. It's on in the background sometimes and I noticed the networks being created.

Anyway, I think the current gen of kids are probably doing just fine creating their friend groups! Not sure about older teens though.


Back in the day, I thought the local phone companies in the US should use the increasingly empty space in their central offices to locate gaming equipment. This was back in the dialup days as things slowly shifted to ADSL.

It would be much more fun to play against kids you saw every day. Things could have scaled up to include older players and other kinds of games.

Unfortunately, the local telco I dealt with had no interest in such things. They resisted thinking past next week. They installed a 3-inch, 800-pair line for the ISP I worked at rather than installing digital.


I had the same experience on a small private WoW server. We knew each other very well and I have 4 friends from that era.

Btw even nowadays small twitch streamers are also a good place to find friends.


I had that experience with Minecraft around 2012.


FWIW I have made many friends in Destiny 2 and I have plans to meet some of them in person.

Many games do not foster this, but I think destiny does.


MMO games still allow for this as you (generally) select one larger, persistent server at character creation, and remain on that server.


Same experience for me, made friends logging in at the same time of day after school but with StarCraft on battle.net


“Kids these days” dont have the problem you are experiencing

Sure 12 year olds blowing off steam in an FPS will go to quick play but people self organize

Many obscure mobile games have robust chats with the same regulars and centralized servers

Twitch communities and discord groups are pretty wild




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