There's an infamous story at my shop. Twenty-some years ago, we used a software tool that was an important part of our mission, and it only ran on Silicon Graphics boxes. We needed to buy a new SGI machine, and SGI had started shipping all of their machines with built in monitor cameras, the first company to do so.
Digital cameras were at that time strictly prohibited from even being on the premises.
So my friend goes ahead and buys the machine he needs, on the assumption that if he doesn't everybody is out of a job, and he can always disable the camera. The machine arrives, he sets it up, and calls security asking for whatever official process they use for disabling webcams. Epoxying over the lens or something, was what he figured.
At first they are very confused. It's like they can't parse the words he is telling them. It's as if he was trying to tell them there were six legged iguanas with Russian flag patches on their backs running around the server room.
So he finally gets them to acknowledge that he is, in fact, speaking English in sentences that adhere to the rules of grammar, at which point they have to take his question seriously.
So they ask: “did you procure these computers through <our base's> government procurement office.” To which he says, yes, of course, there's no other way to do it.
They think for a minute and reply: “by policy, you cannot purchase a digital camera through the procurement office. Therefore, your computers do not have digital cameras in them.”
> They think for a minute and reply: “by policy, you cannot purchase a digital camera through the procurement office. Therefore, your computers do not have digital cameras in them.”
They were being intentionally daft. The person who told him that almost certainly did so with a wink and a nod, and saved your protagonist a lot of pain.
Digital cameras were at that time strictly prohibited from even being on the premises.
So my friend goes ahead and buys the machine he needs, on the assumption that if he doesn't everybody is out of a job, and he can always disable the camera. The machine arrives, he sets it up, and calls security asking for whatever official process they use for disabling webcams. Epoxying over the lens or something, was what he figured.
At first they are very confused. It's like they can't parse the words he is telling them. It's as if he was trying to tell them there were six legged iguanas with Russian flag patches on their backs running around the server room.
So he finally gets them to acknowledge that he is, in fact, speaking English in sentences that adhere to the rules of grammar, at which point they have to take his question seriously.
So they ask: “did you procure these computers through <our base's> government procurement office.” To which he says, yes, of course, there's no other way to do it.
They think for a minute and reply: “by policy, you cannot purchase a digital camera through the procurement office. Therefore, your computers do not have digital cameras in them.”