> This feels like a particular awful thing to ask someone to do, but I believe if everyone truly were able to imagine the sudden death of the folks they love, it would change how they live.
I actually do this every now and then. You know, you're having a slow day at work, you're browsing NH and read an article about someone losing their loved one and then your mind just goes places you wish it hadn't.
Once I'm in that dark place of imagining a life without my partner, my mind never goes to thinking that I should tell them how much I love and them and that I cherish our time together. The thought of doing this doesn't make my imagined pain of losing them any lesser.
If anything, thinking about how much I love them and value our time together makes me even more terrified about the inevitable time when they might not be there anymore. If I actually committed to this, the way my life would change is that I would probably be a lot more depressed.
I should note that I've never lost anyone important to me, so I still have this horrible reality in front of me. But when reading about people who have, it feels like they're from a completely different world.
I'm curious if these regrets people describe about not spending more time with the loved ones is just the way grief manifests in general, or if there's actual psychological value in being proactive about it. My cynical self suspects it's the former.
I actually do this every now and then. You know, you're having a slow day at work, you're browsing NH and read an article about someone losing their loved one and then your mind just goes places you wish it hadn't.
Once I'm in that dark place of imagining a life without my partner, my mind never goes to thinking that I should tell them how much I love and them and that I cherish our time together. The thought of doing this doesn't make my imagined pain of losing them any lesser.
If anything, thinking about how much I love them and value our time together makes me even more terrified about the inevitable time when they might not be there anymore. If I actually committed to this, the way my life would change is that I would probably be a lot more depressed.
I should note that I've never lost anyone important to me, so I still have this horrible reality in front of me. But when reading about people who have, it feels like they're from a completely different world.
I'm curious if these regrets people describe about not spending more time with the loved ones is just the way grief manifests in general, or if there's actual psychological value in being proactive about it. My cynical self suspects it's the former.