I've been married about 19 years, and I think I'm clear on what you're saying. But I haven't heard it put quite this way.
Can you cite some concrete examples of these values, and, perhaps, common ways that an otherwise seemingly compatible couple might not share them? Thanks.
Person A is religious and values spiritual growth. Person A wants their kids to believe in God and develop spiritually. Person B is atheist and thinks religion is a crock. Person B wants their kids to reject religion and flush spirituality down the toilet. Person B is willing to let A go to church on Sundays to make the relationship work since B is attracted to A.
But there will probably be big problems with this over time, especially if kids come into the picture.
> Can you cite some concrete examples of these values, and, perhaps, common ways that an otherwise seemingly compatible couple might not share them? Thanks.
A friend of mine's wife once said to him, about planning some extended vacation despite his busy schedule: "if you loved me you'd make time!" Between my wife and I, this is a punchline. But for many perfectly reasonable people it would be a sincere request worthy of fulfillment. A couple having different reactions to this statement could mean a lot of resentment built-up over time.
Can you cite some concrete examples of these values, and, perhaps, common ways that an otherwise seemingly compatible couple might not share them? Thanks.