Some good tips in here and I'll add my own as well. My fear came about like yours did, after a particularly terrifying experience on a flight. Here's what has helped me:
1. I picture what will happen as soon as I land: who will pick me up or where I will go. Rental car? Hotel? Meeting? Dinner? I just keep picturing what happens after the flight.
2. Reading and podcasts don't help me much as my anxiety will just make me not pay attention. What does work is focused work (writing, programming) with loud music.
3. I always watch the flight attendants for signs of fear. Not once have I seen any, even through pretty rough turbulence. I just focus on their faces to look for anything that might make me nervous (this could, of course, backfire).
4. One strange thing that really helped me was flying in a small plane through bumpy weather. I could see out of the front window in the cockpit from where I was sitting and, for some reason, it was much more fun than it was scary. We weren't heading for a mountain, we weren't that high up, all was OK.
5. I've been told that if the plane rips open for some reason, you immediately pass out from the low pressure so all of the things you're fearing - falling from the sky, hanging on for dear life - won't actually be experienced, worst case. Other crashes are just straight into a mountain or water, in which case you're unlikely to survive. You mentioned not being afraid of dying, which is my feeling as well, so those are comforting thoughts, in a morbid sense.
6. I overheard a pilot talking to a woman on one of my flights and he said that the absolute best way to overcome this fear is to go take a flight lesson or some kind of class that lets you pilot a plane, even for a few minutes. I have not tried this but I'd like to.
1. I picture what will happen as soon as I land: who will pick me up or where I will go. Rental car? Hotel? Meeting? Dinner? I just keep picturing what happens after the flight.
2. Reading and podcasts don't help me much as my anxiety will just make me not pay attention. What does work is focused work (writing, programming) with loud music.
3. I always watch the flight attendants for signs of fear. Not once have I seen any, even through pretty rough turbulence. I just focus on their faces to look for anything that might make me nervous (this could, of course, backfire).
4. One strange thing that really helped me was flying in a small plane through bumpy weather. I could see out of the front window in the cockpit from where I was sitting and, for some reason, it was much more fun than it was scary. We weren't heading for a mountain, we weren't that high up, all was OK.
5. I've been told that if the plane rips open for some reason, you immediately pass out from the low pressure so all of the things you're fearing - falling from the sky, hanging on for dear life - won't actually be experienced, worst case. Other crashes are just straight into a mountain or water, in which case you're unlikely to survive. You mentioned not being afraid of dying, which is my feeling as well, so those are comforting thoughts, in a morbid sense.
6. I overheard a pilot talking to a woman on one of my flights and he said that the absolute best way to overcome this fear is to go take a flight lesson or some kind of class that lets you pilot a plane, even for a few minutes. I have not tried this but I'd like to.