Ask HN: What to do if I can't finish university?

[nikivi]

I am currently trying to finish the second year of my university program for Computer Science despite actually it being my third year as I couldn't pass any subjects last year for various reasons.

One of these reasons is that I simply cannot get my brain to work in an exam setting and have it memorize a bunch of things to then try and remember it on the exam. As well as all the material in my university (in Netherlands) being presented in a horrible manner where is is nearly always best to actually learn it yourself online which is what I did.

It also doesn't help that I have 0 friends inside the university nor in the city I live in.

This constant depression and feeling like I am in in Groundhog Day movie where I repeat the same subjects again and again is making me ever more depressed. It also doesn't help that I cannot find a job of any kind despite actually knowing how to build things.

Trying to solve my own frustrations in life and education I actually started a project to try and solve this as I realized that most learning already happens online, it's just most don't know what they can learn about even and how everything connects. Google just provides a very powerful empty query box and you need to have a question first.

The project is a website and can be found here: https://learn-anything.xyz

I even launched it some time ago on HN and got some positive comments.

All that is to say that is it normal to always feel this depressed about education? Am I a weak person who can't handle the stress of it all so I just give up and try and find the 'easy' way out?

What can I do at this point? I really really hate university and I cannot wait to actually work on something I love and get paid to do it but it seems that to do that you need to get that CS degree paper. And the project I started is open source and has just enough money to stay afloat through donations.

I have no idea what to do at this point.

[safanycom]

No. Depression is as likely a symptom of underlying learning issues.

Try a professional screening for the usual suspects this summer break to see if there are some easy starting points. Pop into some subreddits and ask there.

ADHD types, ASD, BPD, SCT, GAD

[arkades]

Memory/learning difficulty is a symptom of depression. Taking your words at face value, maybe you go see a doctor.

[nikivi → arkades]

I agree with you. Depression certainly hinders nearly everything I try to do.

However going to a doctor is actually expensive in Netherlands. Even more so in US. And from my experience with doctors in NL, they don't actually help you in any practical way. Also I don't want to go and take any kind of anti-depressants as I think it's not a solution that actually works long term. Your body will just learn to rely on the medications.

The solution to depression comes from within. It's just that I can't really find the will in me to continue doing the thing I hate so much and feel 'forced' to do it.

[_rpd → nikivi]

Anti-depressants can let you feel normal for a while, it's a way to find your will again.

If you refuse all treatment options, you are going to have to find a way to continue on through your projects. You should continue on through the degree, but if you decide to leave, at least put things in order so that you can return and finish your degree once you have a few years of perspective.

Best of luck to you.

[arkades → nikivi]

>Also I don't want to go and take any kind of anti-depressants as I think it's not a solution that actually works long term. Your body will just learn to rely on the medications.

> cure from within

This is a really misguided notion. I can’t really argue with it - there’s no helping the idea that an organic illness is somehow a failure of virtue. I will say patients I’ve helped in the past largely agree they wish they didn’t wait so long. (I’m not a psych, I just keep my eyes open for people falling through the cracks and try to ensure they get mental healthcare when they need it.)

Not that medications are a one shot cure. They Do help you get into a good enough place that you can do the other things you need to regain yourself, rather than being incapacitated.

[humbleMouse]

C's get degrees. Suffer through it and get the degree - you'll be happy you did it.