I need to fit this in here somehow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdfeXqHFmPI
(Note: That's what I want, not necessarily what I have atm.)
As a gay man I wonder if theres some latent paternal forces coming through here, any straight people (bosses) with employees, do you also feel some sense of crossover with your children and employees? Just curious
Listening to a song that exactly fits the mood I'm in.
Being so enthralled in a new TV show or book series that I stay up way too late even though I have to go to work in the morning.
Being in the same room as my wife.
Waking up after 9AM.
The feeling of leaving work and knowing I won't have to think about it until Monday.
Accelerating quickly, especially when driving a car.
Watching it rain heavily when I know I won't have to go outside in it.
Weather that is cold enough for me to wear pants but not anything more than a long sleeve shirt.
Aimless bike-riding and urban exploration that takes up the entirety of a weekend day (depending on your area I suppose—definitely doable in Austin and the Bay Area, in my experience).
Time with family and friends.
Meaningful work at a company which values having a functional workplace and innovation (in that order).
Exploring music technology (SuperCollider, VCV rack, and interfacing software with hardware).
I have an old project I've been working on, on and off. Fixing bugs doesn't make me happy; but I asked the client if I could spend some time / billable hours updating some of my old code and they approved; that made me happy.
I don't particularly like going for walks, but the girl friend and her son do; spending time with them makes me happy so I go for the walk.
Paying bills, cleaning the apartment, doing laundry, doesn't make me happy. But being out of a bad 8 year marriage and on my own (when the girl friend isn't around) makes me happy so I do them, willingly (and they need to get done, lol...)
You can find happiness in anything around you that you do; you just need to be willing to find it.</poetic>
To quote wikipedia -
In it, Haidt poses several "Great Ideas" on happiness espoused by thinkers of the past – Plato, Buddha, Jesus and others – and examines them in the light of contemporary psychological research, extracting from them any lessons that still apply to our modern lives. Central to the book are the concepts of virtue, happiness, fulfillment, and meaning.
I have been following some of the suggestions in there - more vacations and holidays, meditation, helping people etc which has surely helped me become happier.
- drinking beer with those same people around a camp fire.
- Playing soccer/ ultimate/other team sports.
- Set design and construction for small theater. It’s my side gig. The money is shit but I love building stuff and hanging out with theater people.
Looking back at this list, nothing that made the cut involves screens, and pretty much everything involves real-world social interaction.
Not trying to be a wise ass here - just curious how people know what makes them happy. Asking because I have a hard time answering OP's question
Sometimes, though, I do fall into a trap of mixing up causality and correlation.
I may feel happy after talking to someone... and only after concluding a thorough analysis of my feeling and the timeline, I may realize that the fact of _finishing_ the talk with that person makes me happy and not the talk itself 8-( )
There is a difference between having your goals and lifestyle preferences hinging on your ego, or simply just that, enhancements.
Now, it's about controlling my schedule indefinitely. Having control of my queue (time) in life is top priority. From there, everything is possible.. your health, family time and so on. On a daily basis, I take inventory through appreciation of waking up today, the things that have been, are, and becoming. The people plus my intentions which are manifesting is some of what keeps happiness remaining daily.
Ebullient happiness is an epiphenomenon. It's a fleeting thing that happens as a result of actions whose ultimate goal is satisfaction and a sense of peace.
Shooting for happy is, to quote bruce lee, "...like pointing a finger at the moon. Focus on the finger and you miss all that heavenly glory." It's a gift, but it's not a reward. Treating happiness as a reward or something you deserve is a great way to make sure you never get it.
I appreciate and revel in the happy moments that come, for me, from service and exploration and study.
Comedy(TV and Standup). Community, HIMYM, Rick and Morty, Louis CK, Bill Burr.
Jogging in the park and listening to audiobooks.
The classic dyad, caring about someone deeply and having them care about you, is a great way to do that.
But even if you’re unpartnered, or partnership isn’t your thing, the best parts of life are often when you’re caring for others.
After that, it’s more about knowing how you’re wired and doing whatever serves that. I need to spend a lot of time in physically beautiful places and experience novel sensations and adventures. Other people are homebodies.
- Spending non-screen time with my wife and 2 year old daughter.
- Unsolicited positive reviews of a product I built, talk I gave, or book I wrote from someone I don't know and don't want anything in return.
And something a lot of people on HN probably is thinking but doesn't want to admit:
- Out innovating and out performing the products I compete with. Especially if they are a much larger company than mine.
But I hope I can soon also add to the list:
- Relaxing without worrying about a deadline
- Reading books again
1. Company of close friends & family.
2. Independence to do things I like.
3. Having a clear and conscious though.
According to Epicurus, greek philosopher these are some of the key ingredients for a pleasurable life.
I think a "results-oriented mindset" is often a source of unhappiness
Having such a hope has been shown (in numerous studies) to have many benefits.
edit: sorry I see below I was too slow posting this...
That’s it. When I make happiness any more complicated than that, it instantly begins to elude me.
But when I take happiness down to those basic elements — I’m happy :)