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Smart Condom (britishcondoms.uk)
27 points by vezycash 9 months ago | hide | past | web | favorite | 23 comments

This is a bit misleading to be called a condom. But, I suppose a "smart cock ring" might come across as vulgar and less easy to market.

It’s actually a smart cock ring, and still a breatakingly bad idea. It’s like a group of people sat around a table and one of them said, “What’s the worst thing about cock rings today?” The response must have been, “Well I hate how no one can hack them.”

Reading the text, it seems they just use Bluetooth to transfer data to your phone... although I wonder if it would just be stored on the phone or backed up on the cloud for "safety".

I think it's more like some people sitting around and wondering "What thing have they not made 'smart'/IoTfied?" and someone thought "Cock rings!".

Oh wait,

> What does i.Con do with its data? Can I use it anonymously?

> Absolutely! All data will be kept anonymous but users will have the option to share their recent data with friends, or, indeed the world. You will be able to anonymously access stats that you can compare with i.Con users worldwide.

So they will definitely upload it straight to their cloud...

recent Fitbit heatmaps come to mind.

Surely this is an April's fools joke... I mean, it's even called the "i.Con"...

Hackers of the world - Let the penetration testing begin!

Uh... it has a hole in it. Is that smart?

A condom that could check if anything 'leaked' out, and based on momentum and other factors give a % variance of likelihood of getting pregnant as well as detect STDs from fluids... that would be an amazing discovery, this...is just fit bit for penises...not so interesting...tldr: Maybe if it had a tricorder built in.

"and seeing this smart condom article ... finally it all clicked...we were living in a dystopia"

Though (as the article states) not an actual condom.

I would have given good money to sit in on the pitch meeting. I think we are moving well past the absurd.

Can I pair with my Tinder account?

I just use the fitbit usually.

I know I have some OCD. But this... just a bit much.

what if damage occurs not part of actual intercourse and you expose wiring to delicate sexual parts

Welcome to the Internet of Dicks.

I believe we've had that for a while. For both ways you could interpret it.

What could go wrong?

They sell your data to Tinder, and suddenly everyone has access to your stamina?

Unless you spoof your stamina metrics and KPIs!

You gotta pump those numbers up! Those are rookie numbers.

This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!

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