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I laughed at this comment chain, because I relate to the general idea put forward here.

I'm finding this difficult to comment on so intangibly. Try and suspend your convictions as stupid or empty the rest of this might seem.

You really have to change your perspective.

For me, that meant making new memories. I struggled with the reminders of that past relationship. It overlapped very many areas of my life, there were a few I just couldn't avoid and many were dear to me. The good becoming bad in that aftermath, it all seemed tainted by the past, not going anywhere.

I took a new approach altogether in those areas, piece by piece. Sooner or later I stopped having those initial and seemingly involuntary attachments. I don't even recognise it anymore, but I do still remember things and it isn't always bad. It does undo itself in time, with that new perspective.

Those hard facts are a good thing if they are part of a process. Like grieving [1].

Our thoughts determine our feelings. You seem to have a great awareness of your situation which has always been a good starting point on many things for me. You can challenge your reality, the present moment being based on what you're making of the past and not a whole lot else (or so it seems).

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

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