I'm a software engineer in my mid twenties in the bay area. Lately I find myself constantly stressed out because everyday I see so many people around my age or even younger than me that are so much more successful. I know rationally that those people are the exceptions and that I might be able to get there one day too, but I still can't help but feel underachieving and stressed.
I would appreciate any advice or perspectives that would help me achieve some sort of inner peace. Would love book recommendations too.
But if you only hang out with people who are in your income bracket or higher, you will quickly lose touch with that reality.
2. You say "more successful", but successful in what way? Is getting VC funding so you can work 100 hours a week "success"? Some people think so, I very definitely don't, because we have different definitions of success. Is having a 100 million dollars success? I would say "no" if you're less happy as a result.
You need to come up with a set of goals that you care about, and goals that aren't about comparing yourself to other people, but goals that are about what you feel is important.
As long as you are comparing yourself to others as a measure of success you will never be happy. There will always be someone richer/younger/cooler/more accomplished.
3. My personal measure of success, which is mine and will likely not match yours, but which at least gives me a path that isn't driven by envy:
- Doing useful things (https://codewithoutrules.com/2017/08/07/do-something-useful/)
- Continual learning, or I get really unhappy.
- Having a job that doesn't take over my life, so I have time for other things. This is... not a popular view in the bay area AFAICT (e.g. https://codewithoutrules.com/2017/09/18/when-startups-pay-le...).