Here is an example. I dated a guy, divorced two daughters 4 & 6 and he wanted to get a motorcycle. As if anything could be comparably important to family or children for that matter because it can't, he was the CEO and founder of a tech startups (so to this point in the companies development, from my limited perspective though he shared a great deal with me about the business, we not one in which there would be a stable replacement for him and thus the company and 400 people's and their families that relied on this company for jobs) I was only dating him for four months but I told him he was being genuinely selfish for entertaining the idea of buying a motorcycle and his ego was getting the way of his priorities.
I never tried to control him or any part of his life, but I made it clear that I would not date him if he got a Ducati with two young daughters and I deemed it a selfish life decision. Needless to say, this ego bled into other areas of his life and our relationship that made it intolerable to date him.
I would imagine that this tenant relies somewhat on being in a place of responsibility where you have made it so that others people's well being relies on you somehow, and your lack of existence/leadership/consequences of your bad decisions affect other people than just yourself.
I never tried to control him or any part of his life, but I made it clear that I would not date him if he got a Ducati with two young daughters and I deemed it a selfish life decision. Needless to say, this ego bled into other areas of his life and our relationship that made it intolerable to date him.
I would imagine that this tenant relies somewhat on being in a place of responsibility where you have made it so that others people's well being relies on you somehow, and your lack of existence/leadership/consequences of your bad decisions affect other people than just yourself.